


The Home For The Holidays Job

by aurora_atalanta



Category: Leverage
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Criminals, Christmas, Coming Out, Eliot is Deeply In Denial, Established Parker/Hardison, Eventual Hardison/Parker/Eliot, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Holidays, Lots of Very Bad Flirting, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other, Slow-ish burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Thanksgiving, accidental innuendos, gratuitous fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 40,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21600253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_atalanta/pseuds/aurora_atalanta
Summary: “It’s Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how you’re still single? About how your parents want more grandchildren? Well, look no further. I am a 30 year old army vet with no diploma, some impressive scars, and a super beat up pickup truck. I work at a culinary institute with some catering and bartending on the side. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you to torment your family, I’m game. I’ll happily: hit on other guests (regardless of gender), start instigative discussions about politics or religion, propose to you in front of everyone, pretend to be super drunk, or start an actual, physical fight with your least favorite family member (and win). All I ask for in payment is the meal itself, plus I’m happy to bring a dish of your choosing.”Or, Eliot posts a Craigslist ad so he can have a homecooked Thanksgiving meal, and ends up with so, so much more.
Relationships: Alec Hardison/Parker, Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer, Background Sophie Devereaux/Nate Ford
Comments: 122
Kudos: 245





	1. Thanksgiving

**Author's Note:**

> 'Tis the season to make our favorite hitter fall in love! The premise is based on that one Craiglist post where it's an ex-felon offering to be a fake Thanksgiving date. Naturally, I saw that post and immediately thought of Eliot since it seems like a very him thing to do. And, since I'm apparently an overachiever, this fic will include Christmas (definitely), New Year's (probably), and Valentine's Day (maybe).

The thing was, Eliot did actually like Thanksgiving. Some of his happiest memories involved good-natured bickering with his extended family around a giant turkey and more side dishes than you could shake a stick at. But that had been before he’d enlisted, before he stepped into the darkness and almost never looked back. If it hadn’t been for Toby, he never would have rediscovered his passion for food and finally found something of salvation in the art of cooking. Toby teaching him to cook had brought him back into the light, and he was forever grateful for it. 

And really, the whole thing had been Toby’s idea. Eliot couldn’t blame the man for wanting him to have somewhere to go for the holidays, but never in a million years could he have anticipated the shenanigans he was about to get himself into in the pursuit of familial companionship. He hadn’t had a real relationship since Aimee, and mostly kept to himself apart from Toby and the few fellow vets he still stayed in touch with. Not that he was open about it, but Eliot did start to feel the loneliness creep in with the chill of late fall, knowing that he’d have to spend another year’s most family-oriented holidays by himself. He typically worked longer hours to make up for it, taking extra shifts at the culinary institute and even some catering and bartending gigs here and there. He kept himself busy, figuring that facilitating strangers’ holiday meals was almost as good as having his own. For a while it was enough, but he’d gotten soft or careless or both with showing his emotions because two weeks before Thanksgiving Toby sat him down and pitched him an idea. 

So here he was, typing with one finger on each hand (listen, he was never going to be any kind of tech whiz, okay), drafting a Craigslist ad offering his services as, well, a Thanksgiving date. He wasn’t an escort, dammit, all he wanted was to eat a good meal with a real family, and maybe provide some entertainment for the person who was bringing him along. His description was brief and to the point:

“It’s Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how you’re still single? About how your parents want more grandchildren? Well, look no further. I am a 30 year old army vet with no diploma, some impressive scars, and a super beat up pickup truck. I work at a culinary institute with some catering and bartending on the side. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you to torment your family, I’m game. I’ll happily: hit on other guests (regardless of gender), start instigative discussions about politics or religion, propose to you in front of everyone, pretend to be super drunk, or start an actual, physical fight with your least favorite family member (and win). All I ask for in payment is the meal itself, plus I’m happy to bring a dish of your choosing.”

Pleased with his advertisement, Eliot submitted it and leaned back in his chair, waiting to see if he’d get any messages. When several minutes passed with no immediate replies, he shrugged to himself, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and relocated to the couch to watch some football. By the time he finished the game and went to sleep, he’d all but forgotten the ad entirely.

~

The reminder came almost a full day later, as he wasn’t really one to check his phone or computer much. He preferred to spend his time doing things he considered constructive - tending to his herb garden, going for a morning run, and most importantly going to work. As he was set to wrap up for the day, Toby approached him by the freezer.

“So, you post that ad like I suggested?” Toby grinned and waggled his eyebrows. The man was anything but subtle.

Eliot rolled his eyes and nodded. “I did, actually. Haven’t checked to see if I got any responses yet, but I ain’t holdin’ my breath. I wasn’t exactly...flatterin’ with my self-description.”

Toby shrugged, still smiling. “I bet at least one person asks you to be their date for Thanksgiving, just to stick it to their folks.”

Eliot snorted. “You wanna bet on that old man?” 

“Who’re you calling old, punk?” Toby said in mock-outrage, leaning in to playfully bump Eliot’s shoulder. 

Eliot let him, shaking his head and smirking at the gesture. “I’m just sayin’. But I really wouldn’t count on anything if I were you, it‘s a long shot as far as I’m concerned. I’ll let you know though, alright?”

Toby patted him on the back and turned to leave, yelling cheerfully over his shoulder as he went. “Just don’t fall in love with whoever asks you to be their date to Thanksgiving!”

Eliot grumbled fondly at his retreating form. “Fall in love my ass, ain’t gonna be nobody to fall in love with in the first place.”

~

When he got home, Eliot was in no rush to check his listing. He puttered around unhurriedly, allowing himself the comfort of being in his own space after a long day surrounded by students and fellow chefs. After tidying up a bit, Eliot made himself a simple but hearty meal of goulash and fresh bread he’d made earlier as part of the day’s lessons. Dinner was followed by what he would consider an indulgently long shower - twenty minutes instead of his usual ten.

Having finished his nightly routine, Eliot’s curiosity eventually got the better of him. He sat down at his computer to pull up Craigslist, fully expecting to have his suspicions confirmed and be able to tell Toby ‘I told you so’. To his complete surprise, there were five offers on the table already. 

Eliot blinked, still rather bewildered, and slowly opened the first response. It was a woman whose boyfriend had just dumped her, but who didn’t want to show up to Thanksgiving alone after having assured her family that a proposal was on the horizon. The second was a gay man whose family was deeply homophobic, and who thought it might be fun to throw a wrench in his family’s dynamic by bringing home a ‘boyfriend’ for the first time. Another promising response, Eliot thought. Number three was less so; it seemed the person might be involved in some kind of black market organ dealing if their questions about his lifestyle habits and medical history were anything to go on. The fourth response was also unappealing, a woman wanting to make her husband jealous by inviting Eliot as her ‘work friend’ and hoping to make the husband angry enough to fight him. Eliot frowned, grumbling a little under his breath about respect and propriety and lack thereof. Getting into fisticuffs with a bigoted relative was one thing, but manipulating someone’s spouse for no reason? Not gonna happen.

Finally, he opened the last response. Of the five, it was the most interesting. Apparently, the man inquiring was bisexual and in a committed relationship with a woman. He’d wanted to come out for a long time, but was worried nobody would believe him because he hadn’t actually dated a man before and was serious enough about his current girlfriend that he might never get the chance. He’d asked if Eliot could pretend to be his boyfriend and help him come out to his foster mom. Eliot could sort of understand the feeling; he mostly dated women and wasn’t much in the habit of telling people he also liked men. Not that he really had anyone to tell, but he could imagine that it was important to this guy. He decided to sleep on it and determine which of the three reasonable responses he’d choose the next day. 

Incidentally, the next day came and went and Eliot still hadn’t made a decision. The first and second responses were the closest to what he’d envisioned (if he’d let himself believe he’d get any replies at all) but there was something about that last one that had him thinking. It was kind of nice to imagine helping this guy come out to his foster mom, since it was something Eliot himself had never really been able to do. He’d lost touch with his family before he realized he liked guys, and even if he’d had the chance to tell them he wasn’t sure they would have reacted well. It was well past too late for him to have that kind of a coming out experience, but at least he could help someone else with theirs.

At that point the decision was obvious, and Eliot sat down at his computer once again to accept the fifth offer. The man, Alec, seemed enthusiastic about his reply and sent some details so that Eliot would know what to expect. The foster mom was called ‘Nana’ by everyone, there would be a multitude of foster siblings (as well as their kids) in attendance, and the food was promised to be amazing. No further mention was made of the girlfriend, which Eliot thought was a little odd, but beyond that he found himself actually looking forward to Thanksgiving for the first time in over ten years.

Toby also managed to keep his gloating to a bare minimum when Eliot reluctantly told him about his Thanksgiving ‘date’, but he did make several suggestive comments that had Eliot rolling his eyes and grumbling more than usual.

~

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, Eliot and Alec (who apparently preferred to be called by his last name, Hardison) were texting almost every day. Eliot wasn’t much of a texter, but part of the reason he’d decided to post his ad in the first place was that he was kind of lonely, and it was nice to have a new person to talk to. Not his usual style, but not much about the situation was. Besides, Hardison was gregarious as all hell and plenty talkative for the both of them.

In the two weeks since they’d first talked, Eliot had learned a decent amount about his new friend. He knew that Hardison worked in tech, though the specifics were lost on him. He discovered Hardison’s obsession with orange soda and gummy frogs, which Eliot maintained was horrifying at best. He knew that Hardison was crazy smart, but in a very different way than Eliot was. And, perhaps best of all, he learned that Hardison was hilariously easy to rile up. Eliot couldn’t help but pretend not to know anything about pop culture, hoping to get a rise out of the other man. Hardison was incredibly nerdy and often waxed poetic about various cult classics, responding with scandalized all caps and exclamation marks galore when Eliot feigned ignorance. What they did share was a love of sports - football in particular - and they often texted during games to call out the refs or bet on which team would win. So far, Eliot was winning three to nothing.

Hardison, for his part, seemed to have picked up some things about Eliot as well. He learned quickly not to pry too much into Eliot’s past, for which Eliot was grateful. He always seemed to know when Eliot was genuinely frustrated or just messing with him, and he didn’t seem to mind Eliot’s complete lack of texting etiquette. It was easy, comfortable in a way Eliot didn’t quite understand but was loathe to question. He found himself secretly looking forward to finally meeting Hardison, despite his best efforts to convince himself that it was the promise of a home-cooked soul food feast that he was really anticipating.

As for the matter of Thanksgiving itself, the two of them had gotten so caught up in their new friendship that they’d neglected to come up with a solid plan as to how Hardison was going to come out to his foster mom. Eliot figured that, if all else failed, he could always fall back on his southern charm and good manners. 

He did still wonder where the girlfriend was in all of this, as Hardison barely mentioned her in the couple weeks they’d been texting. All he knew was that her name was Parker, she was a skydiving instructor, and that her and Hardison had been dating for a little over two years. He found it odd that they’d been dating so long without Parker meeting the family, but Eliot decided not to question it too much. Families were complicated, after all - and he should know.

~

Eliot would never admit it, but he spent a good half hour deciding what to wear for the Hardison family dinner. Listen, he wanted to give his new friend the best chance possible of being accepted, but he also didn’t want to overdo it. After several minutes of hemming and hawing, Eliot decided on a royal blue button-down and his nicest pair of dark wash jeans, plus some bracelets, a necklace, and some small, simple hoops in his ears. He also definitely didn’t spend an additional ten minutes blow-drying his hair so that it looked extra shiny and soft. Nope.

Hardison offered to pick him up so they could come up with a game plan, and Eliot agreed. He did kind of know the guy by now, and he could almost certainly take him in a fight if it came to that. Stranger danger didn’t really apply when you were ex-special ops, after all. He smoothed his hair back from his face at least a dozen times as he waited, pacing by the door. And no, he wasn’t nervous, dammit, he just wanted to make a good first impression. 

Finally there was a knock at the door and Eliot thanked his training for ridding him of a startle reflex because otherwise he probably would have jumped and maybe even screamed a little. He smoothed his hair back one more time, tugged at the bottom of his shirt to get rid of any wrinkles, and straightened his posture before opening the door.

Alec Hardison was tall. Eliot didn’t have any expectations one way or the other as to what his new friend would look like, but having to crane his head up to look the man in the eye was a bit of a surprise. Not that he minded, because Hardison had really nice bone structure and warm eyes and a really white smile and shit, he hadn’t even said anything yet. Eliot shook his head a little and cleared his throat.

“You must be Hardison, nice to actually meet you man.”

Hardison grinned brightly. “You too, man! Feels like I’ve known you for way longer than a couple weeks. You ready to go?”

Eliot nodded. “I made a little somethin’ to bring to dinner, I just need to grab it from the fridge.” He gestured for the other man to come inside as he headed to the kitchen.

Hardison’s eyes widened a little as he followed. “Wait, really? I was just joking when I suggested you bring something. What did you make?”

Eliot smiled to himself, his back turned to Hardison as he opened the fridge. “I figured, but I did say in the ad I posted that I didn’t mind makin’ a dish. And, while I think that crap you call orange soda is a crime, I figured I could make somethin’ loosely inspired by it for you.” He turned to face Hardison, holding the box out and opening it for the other man to inspect. 

“It’s a clementine cake, one of my favorite recipes.” And listen, Eliot wasn’t shy about his cooking or anything but Hardison hadn’t said anything yet. He just stood there with his mouth open, eyes darting between the cake and Eliot. 

Eliot grumbled. “If you don’t want it -” Hardison shook himself out of his stupor then, looking up at Eliot like he was some kind of superhero or wizard or whatever magical geeky nonsense Hardison was into. 

“I think I love you,” Hardison muttered faintly. Eliot didn’t blush, because that would be absurd, but he felt the weight of the other man’s gaze like a physical pressure, and wasn’t this whole thing supposed to be ‘strictly platonic’ according to, well, himself? He studiously refrained from thinking about Toby’s ‘falling in love’ comment.

After an awkward beat of silence, Eliot cleared his throat, which thankfully prompted Hardison to remember his manners. “That looks damn amazing, man, thank you. Wow, Nana is gonna be impressed for sure.” He still looked spellbound, and Eliot found himself needing to dispel the moment they were having, shrugging it off with a huff and a curt nod.

Then, from out of nowhere, a chirpy voice announced, “That really does look delicious!”

Eliot nearly threw the damn cake across the room.

After Eliot had recovered from the shock he sat the two of them down, glaring at them from across his kitchen island and crossing his arms, silently demanding an explanation. Hardison immediately started babbling, apologizing profusely for his girlfriend’s intrusion and introducing her in the same breath. Eliot was confused, and consternated, and still trying to get his heart rate under control because somehow this petite blonde girl had crept up on him despite his training. He decided to address one emotion at a time, starting with confusion.

“Why’s your girlfriend even here, man? Ain’t I supposed to be your date to Thanksgiving?” Eliot asked gruffly, Hardison having finally run out of words (or oxygen).

Parker piped up first. “I was waiting in the car and I got bored!” 

Hardison looked sheepish. “I, ah, wasn’t really sure how to tell you that bit? See, I’m bi, but I’m also polyamorous. That means I can like more than one person at once, romantically. And I figured, hey, I’m already coming out as bi so I might as well also come out as poly? So the plan was to bring Parker as my girlfriend like I have before and then introduce you as my, well, our boyfriend. Both of you, together. As in, we’re all dating each other.” He looked more than a little apprehensive. Eliot uncrossed his arms and sighed, his expression softening slightly. Hardison was his friend, and he didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. 

“That ain’t exactly what I signed up for, but alright.” And then, quieter - “Dammit, Hardison.”

Hardison sighed in relief, seeming to understand that Eliot didn’t have a problem with him being poly, he just would have liked a heads-up beforehand. 

Parker, meanwhile, had been creeping closer and closer to the open box of clementine cake, seemingly on a mission. Eliot thanked his reflexes as he caught her wrist, just barely thwarting her attempt to steal a slice of clementine from the top of the cake.

“That’s for later,” he growled. Parker pouted, retracting her hand and making a sad little whining noise. Eliot absolutely did not think it was endearing as all hell, and closed the box firmly. 

“We headin’ out then or are there any more curveballs you’d like to throw at me?” Eliot scowled in Parker’s direction again, but it was half-hearted at best. His willpower clearly wasn’t what it used to be, because he found himself begrudgingly charmed by these two. Whatever.

Hardison, to his credit, looked genuinely apologetic. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before, I really am. And no more surprises, honest.” 

Eliot could have sworn he saw Hardison flutter his eyelashes, but steadfastly ignored it, instead gesturing to the door. “Let’s get this show on the road then”.

~

The drive to Nana’s was...interesting. Parker called shotgun immediately, so Eliot was relegated to the back seat. In front of him, Parker and Hardison chatted about this and that, occasionally roping Eliot into the conversation to settle a score. He agreed with Parker that horror was the best movie genre, and agreed with Hardison that football was the best sport, deciding not to mention that he’d been the quarterback on his high school team. The two of them had an easy intimacy between them, often seeming to communicate without needing many words. It made Eliot the tiniest bit envious, as he hadn’t had that sort of comfortable familiarity that comes with a relationship in a long time.

Before he could get too lost in his thoughts, Hardison announced that they were just five minutes away. Eliot’s stomach didn’t knot, because he wasn’t actually their boyfriend and didn’t actually have to worry about impressing Hardison’s family, but he did steel himself, just a little. He hadn’t really ever had to ‘meet the parents’ since he’d grown up with Aimee, so between the bi thing, the poly thing, and his lack of experience in this particular department, he figured he was allowed to feel some trepidation. He hoped for Hardison’s sake that his family was accepting and that the situation didn’t turn ugly. Not that Eliot was afraid of getting his hands dirty, but the way Hardison talked about his Nana, you’d’ve thought the woman was a saint. Eliot hadn’t been able to salvage the relationship he had with his own family, but he’d be damned if he was gonna let Hardison go through that same pain. 

And just like that, they were there.

~

Hardison pulled into the driveway of a modest two-story house, killed the engine, and twisted in his seat to make eye contact with Eliot.

“Okay, so here’s the plan. We’re all gonna walk in together. Parker is gonna go first and say hi to Nana since she knows her already, and then you and I are gonna walk in holding hands, and Parker’s gonna be standing off to the side so Nana knows she’s a part of this, and then I’m gonna tell her you’re my - our - boyfriend. And then, hopefully, I’ll get to clarify that I’m bi and poly, and maybe explain a little, and you’re gonna give her your clementine cake, and you and Parker are gonna go mingle while I talk to her some more. Sound good?” His eyes were wide, almost pleading, and he looked incredibly anxious. 

Eliot couldn’t help but smile, a soft little thing that crinkled the corners of his eyes, and nodded at Hardison. “I’ll put on my very best southern charm, don’t you worry about it.” He paused. “...darlin’.”

Hardison looked the tiniest bit relieved, and returned Eliot’s smile with a wavering one of his own. “If all goes well, you might be facing a bit of an interrogation from her. Do we have a backstory for how we met?”

Eliot flinched slightly at the word ‘interrogation’, but covered with another nod. “We should probably say we’ve been datin’ for at least a few months, otherwise it’d be kinda weird for you to bring me along. Sometime in the summer maybe? You ‘n’ Parker coulda met me at one of my bartendin’ gigs, left me your number, and started from there.”

Hardison looked more thoughtful than apprehensive now, which was an improvement. “It’s not a very interesting story, I was hoping for more of a meet-cute.”

Eliot rolled his eyes so hard he swore he could see the back of his own head. 

“We couldn’t’ve met at your job, whatever it is -” 

Hardison spluttered indignantly. “I work as an IT consultant for a very well-known software company thank you very much -” 

Eliot ignored him, “- cause I clearly don’t work in that field, and I definitely ain’t one for online datin’, so meetin’ me at one of the bars I work at makes the most sense,” he said firmly, despite Hardison’s protests. 

Parker, who had been silent throughout the boys’ squabbling, threw her own suggestion into consideration. “Maybe we all met at the fair, that’s cute!”

Eliot and Hardison slowly turned to look at her, twin expressions of confusion and mild disbelief on their faces.

“What?” Parker shrugged, grinning. “The fair is fun!”

Hardison shook his head and chuckled. “That it is, mama. But I don’t think Eliot’s really the fair-going type.”

Eliot scowled. “You don’t know that.”

Hardison gave him a pointed look. “A-n-y-w-a-y-s. Fine, we met while you were bartending, but I met you first and liked you, so I sent Parker to go meet you. We talked about the repercussions of finally asking someone to join our relationship after Parker met you and liked you too, and then once we decided we’d like to try dating you we went back together and gave you our numbers. You called us back a few days later and from there we started going on dates. After a while we made it official - did you ask us to be your boyfriend and girlfriend or did we ask you?”

Eliot considered that for a moment. “I mean, you replied to my ad, so y’all probably asked me. And I’ve been monogamous in the few relationships I’ve been in, so I doubt I’d’ve agreed to be a part of this without some convincin’, let alone suggestin’ the arrangement myself. Also, what’s the deal with this poly thing? Are we all meant to be exclusive with each other or do we see other people outside the relationship?” A part of him couldn’t believe he was even having this conversation, but that was an existential crisis he could have later. Right now he had a job to do, and lots of food to eat. Best to get through all this relationship talk so they could get their story straight (or not straight, as it were), and Eliot could finally get the Thanksgiving meal he’d been after. Hopefully. He still couldn’t be completely sure of the outcome of Hardison showing up with both him and Parker on his arm(s). 

Unaware of Eliot’s inner turmoil, Hardison was now excitedly explaining the ins and outs of polyamory and how it applied to him personally. Eliot tuned back in just in time to see Hardison’s face light up as he launched into the concept of polyfidelity, which Eliot understood to mean ‘monogamy with more than two people’. No outside relationships, just a closed romantic circuit. Eliot snorted a little to himself at the comparison. Hardison really was such a geek. Parker just nodded along, letting Hardison take the reins.

“We actually have talked about this, just haven’t found anyone that fits with us yet,” Hardison added. “A lot of poly people are more into the open relationship thing but I’m the kind of guy who really likes to commit, and Parker gets jealous when random people are into me so it just makes sense that they’d have to be involved with her too.”

Eliot shook his head a little. It was a lot of information to digest, but they’d been sitting in Hardison’s Nana’s driveway for long enough. “Alright, I think I get the gist. We should probably head in, it’s gettin’ weird with us just sittin’ out here.” He paused. “And I’ll back you up if it comes to that, but you’ve got to be the one to actually say the words, alright?”

Hardison nodded solemnly. “Yeah, man, sounds good. Let’s go.”

~

The number of cars already in the driveway (and parked along the street) should have been forewarning enough for Eliot to anticipate the pandemonium inside the Hardison house, but nothing could have truly prepared him for what lay ahead. There were people everywhere, flitting about and talking rapidly to each other, laughing and gesticulating wildly. If he hadn’t already invested so much time and emotional energy into Hardison’s quest, Eliot very well may have turned tail right then and there. It was overwhelming in a way he hadn’t experienced in a long time, moreso than any kitchen during a rush or army camp preparing for combat. It was chaos in the best way, warm and bright and so very alive, but chaos nonetheless. Eliot took a deep, bracing breath and took Hardison’s hand, following him and Parker into the kitchen.

Eliot willed his palms not to sweat as he took in the epicenter of the commotion. The kitchen was packed, members of Hardison’s family shoulder to shoulder as pots and pans simmered on the stove, dishes were ferried into the dining room, and children of all ages tried to sneak bites of food from the counters.

In the middle of it all, looking calm and content, was Nana. 

Hardison gripped Eliot’s hand tighter as he gently nudged Parker in her direction. The plan officially set in motion, Eliot watched as Nana’s face lit up and she parted the sea of people around her to pull Parker into a gentle hug. As she pulled away, she looked around, presumably for her foster son. Her gaze landed on Hardison, and then Eliot, glancing down to the hands they’d firmly intertwined between them. 

The two men followed in Parker’s footsteps, squeezing between the various members of Hardison’s clan, some of whom patted him on the shoulder or back as he passed them by. They seemed to know better than to try and stop him though; Nana, gracious as she’d been described, was clearly a force to be reckoned with. 

After what seemed like an eternity weaving through Hardison’s relatives, they finally made it to Nana. She looked both of them over, quirking her eyebrow at Hardison and putting her hands on her hips. Apparently he wasn’t getting a hug until he explained himself.

Hardison audibly gulped, and Eliot couldn’t help but stand just that much closer, a solid weight for the other man to lean into. This was the most important part.

“Hi, Nana. Um...” he trailed off, glancing at Eliot pleadingly. Eliot shook his head minutely, then inclined his head towards Nana. He would be here to support Hardison, but this wasn’t his to explain. 

“Well speak up, Alec, I ain’t got all day,” Nana said, her tone fond and slightly exasperated (to which Eliot could definitely relate). 

Hardison relaxed a little at the sound of her voice, and forged ahead. It was nerve-wracking to watch, and it hadn’t even really begun yet. Eliot couldn’t imagine how Hardison felt.

Unsurprisingly, it all came out in one rushed, rambling speech.

“So I’ve been dating Parker for a couple years, which you obviously know, and it’s going real well and I love her with my whole heart, but I got a lot of love to give y’know? And I also like guys and Parker and I decided we wanted another person in our relationship with us, so we started looking for guys we might both like, and then I met Eliot here while he was bartending, so I sent Parker to go meet him too, and then we came back together to ask him out, and we’ve been dating him since the early summer. Basically I’m bisexual and polyamorous and I hope that’s okay because it’s who I am and I love both of them, and Parker and Eliot love each other and our relationship is really good and we’re whole and happy and I just wanted you to know. So. Yeah.”

He sagged against Eliot when he finished talking, like saying those words took a physical toll (and with the amount he said in one breath, Eliot guessed it might have). 

He could see Nana’s gears turning as she tried to process the jumbled mess Hardison had thrown at her, but so far there wasn’t any sign of a negative reaction. Eliot pressed more firmly up against the other man, hoping to ground him as they waited for Nana’s verdict. Hardison, meanwhile, was trembling a little, the anticipation ratcheting up his already frayed nerves. 

Nana took a deep breath.

And grinned.

Her whole face lit up with it, eyes crinkling and shining a little, like she might have been on the verge of tears. She laughed, a sweet bubbly thing that made Eliot chuckle despite himself. If he was a more poetic man, he’d’ve said that in that moment, he felt like he was made of champagne - fizzy and bright. Nana opened her arms, murmuring a “come here, baby”, and Hardison let go of Eliot's hand so he could wrap his arms tightly around his foster mother. Eliot thought he could hear Hardison crying into her shoulder, but decided to ignore it. Parker, standing off to the side, looked awfully misty-eyed, sporting a sweetly dimpled smile as she watched her boyfriend have the weight of being closeted from the woman he admired most lift off his shoulders. It was, by all accounts, a truly beautiful moment. 

As soon as it began it was over, disrupted by the general hubbub of the house (and the kitchen in particular). Hardison withdrew, wiped his eyes, and smiled at Nana, so big that Eliot wondered if his face hurt from it. She whispered something to him and he choked out a wet little laugh, nodding at whatever she had said. Nana then shooed him away towards Parker, turning her attention on Eliot. 

“So, you’re dating my Alec then, young man?” Eliot squirmed a little under her discerning gaze. 

“Yes ma’am. And Parker, too, both of ‘em. They’re really great. I’m just really happy for Ha- Alec that you’re so acceptin’ of him.” Eliot ducked his head and smiled softly at Nana, trying to seem as nonthreatening and sincere as possible.

It seemed to work, because she smiled right back. “As long as he’s happy, I see no reason for me or anyone else to get bent out of shape about the why and how. Besides, you seem like a perfect gentleman.” As she spoke, Nana finally noticed the cake box in Eliot’s other hand. “Is that for me?” she asked excitedly.

Eliot nodded, opening up the box for her inspection as he’d done for Hardison back at his house. “Clementine cake, a personal favorite of mine, inspired by all that orange soda Alec drinks.”

Nana beamed at him. “It looks beautiful...Eliot, was it? Thank you very much. I’ll make sure Alec gets a slice before these vultures -” she glared affectionately around the kitchen “- gobble it all up.”

And with that she turned away, something else requiring her attention, and Eliot faltered for a second before making a beeline to where Parker and Hardison were talking quietly by the entrance to the living room. 

As soon as he joined them, he could see that Hardison was practically vibrating with giddy relief. “Hey man, that went fantastic. Can I hug you right now? Because that went better than I ever could have hoped and I have you to thank for it, seriously you’re the best -”

Eliot gave in (almost too easily) and pulled Hardison into a tight hug, if only to stop his rambling. It worked like a charm, Hardison once again sagging into the embrace and burying his face in the crook of Eliot’s neck. He couldn’t imagine it was comfortable, what with the height difference, but it seemed to help. The hug lasted a beat too long for a standard bro hug, but after that emotional rollercoaster Eliot figured Hardison deserved it. When they pulled apart, Eliot decided to continue to ignore any less than platonic feelings he may or may not be having, thank you very much, and move right along.

After The Hug, the three of them were ousted from the kitchen entirely and ended up trying to mingle with Hardison’s very extended family as a group. It was more than a little awkward at times, Hardison’s voice cracking nervously as he introduced Eliot as his boyfriend, but for the most part his family took it in stride. A few just stared blankly and walked away towards the kitchen, but Nana must have set them straight because eventually they all came around, asking Hardison questions and shooting Eliot curious glances. Parker seemed to have learned how to dodge unwanted inquiries during her previous Thanksgivings with the family, since she managed to eventually disappear, leaving Eliot and Hardison to explain their...unique relationship. Eliot couldn’t really hold it against her though, because it did get tedious after a while. Mostly he was just glad the questions they were getting asked were shallow enough not to blow their cover. 

Eliot couldn’t have been more thankful when it was finally time to eat.

~

Dinner itself was a truly spectacular affair. There must have been at least fifteen distinctive side dishes by Eliot’s count, each one more delicious than the last. More classic Thanksgiving fare (including not one, not two, but four beautifully roasted turkeys) was interspersed with mouthwatering soul food dishes that hit Eliot right in the nostalgia. There were red beans and rice, black-eyed peas, two different types of mac and cheese, collard greens, and numerous plates piled high with homemade cornbread. And who knew that barbequed ribs and fried fish could be served at Thanksgiving? Eliot wondered if Hardison could cook at all, but then vividly remembered a text conversation (more like impassioned dispute) about chili-flavored foam. He shuddered, choosing to put the thought out of his mind to focus on the sweet potato souffle he was currently drooling over.

As Eliot filled and refilled his plate, he found himself thinking that he truly couldn’t remember a meal he’d enjoyed more. Besides the amazing food (he had to remember to ask for some of those recipes, especially the sweet potato souffle), Eliot had relished the feeling of being a part of a family again, something he hadn’t even realized he missed so immensely until it all came rushing back. It might not really be his family, but the warmth and love the Hardison clan felt for each other permeated the entire house. It felt, undeniably, like home. And, once the initial awkwardness of having to explain his relationship to Hardison and Parker was over, the family was nothing but welcoming to him. He had several lengthy conversations with various relatives, ranging in topics from the best way to make pie dough to the current state of the government to the ramifications of suburban beekeeping. Eliot did try to avoid talking about his military career, harrowing as it was, but he did manage to have a rather heartfelt conversation about the lack of resources veterans face with one of Hardison’s foster brothers, a fellow vet who’d just come back from a second tour. 

Just when Eliot thought he couldn’t possibly eat anything else, dessert was served. Since Hardison’s family was truly massive, there were at least half a dozen pies and even a couple cheesecakes to choose from, along with Eliot’s clementine cake. 

“Hey. Hardison. C’mere,” Eliot whispered gruffly, tugging the other man out of his seat. Hardison looked like he was about to protest before Eliot shot him a look. 

“I want you ‘n’ Parker to try that clementine cake I made.” With that, Hardison’s eyes lit up and he grinned at Eliot, pulling Parker up from where she was sitting beside him. 

The kitchen was mostly empty now, everyone having moved to the dining and living rooms. Eliot spotted the cake box and gingerly opened the lid, only to find that the cake was gone. Vanished. Nowhere to be found.

“Uh...” Eliot said dumbly. 

Nana appeared at his side with almost as much stealth as Parker had before, and this time Eliot’s reflexes were sluggish from tryptophan (or at least that’s what he told himself) and he jumped, just a little. Hardison snickered over his shoulder, which Eliot staunchly ignored. 

“I told you I wanted to make sure I saved some of that wonderful cake for you three, so I sliced it up and hid three pieces in the back of the fridge.” 

Eliot absolutely did not sigh in relief. “Thank you ma’am, I’ve been looking forward to havin’ these two try it.”

Nana patted him on the arm with a smile. “Don’t be so formal now, you’ve survived your first Hardison family dinner. Please, call me Nana.”

For a moment Eliot was speechless, until a warm hand landed on his shoulder from behind and prompted him to reply. 

“Alright then...Nana. Thank you for everythin’.” Despite his best efforts, his words came out hoarse and a little shaky. He hadn’t had a maternal figure in his life since his mom died during his last year of high school, and to be accepted so readily into Hardison’s family? It was all a little much. Nana seemed to sense this, and patted him on the arm again. 

“Thank you, Eliot, for making my boy happy. You and Parker have clearly done him a world of good.”

Parker, who had been sitting quietly on the counter, spoke up softly. “He’s worth it.”

Eliot glanced over at her and nodded absently. Now Hardison sounded like he was sniffling a bit, and dammit, how many tender moments was Eliot going to have to pretend didn’t affect him today? 

Nana laughed that bright, bubbly laugh of hers and left the three of them to their own devices. Eliot shrugged Hardison’s hand off of his shoulder, effectively putting an end to the moment. Again. This was supposed to be a strictly platonic, food-centric event. How had it turned into something out of a Hallmark movie? 

(Albeit a very progressive Hallmark movie, but still.) 

Eliot went to the fridge to retrieve the cake, while Hardison busied himself with cutlery and plates. Parker stayed where she was, perched on the counter and swinging her legs. It should have felt stilted, awkward, but instead it just felt...nice. Parker and Hardison were good company, and managed to not make Eliot feel like a third wheel despite their established relationship. 

Then, at long last, the cake was served.

~

Eliot prided himself on his self-control. It had gotten him through his military service, the transition back to civilian life, and facilitated his entry into the culinary world. He was a disciplined man who had control over his mind and body.

Which was why he was absolutely mortified and subsequently outraged when he found himself actually, physically blushing. 

To be fair, both Hardison and Parker had just eaten their first bites of clementine cake. Which, if the borderline pornographic moans they let out (in perfect synchronicity, no less) were anything to go by, they liked a lot. Maybe too much.

Eliot was, in a word, flustered. Which was patently ridiculous, because Eliot Spencer didn’t get flustered. It was a foolish emotion reserved only for people who didn’t know how to control themselves. 

And yet.

After that brazen display, Hardison and Parker had the nerve to look over at him, still in sync (which was really kind of creepy, how connected they were) and catch the red blooming across his face. How dare they.

If Eliot were a lesser man, he’d have fled right there and then. But he wasn’t, so he stood his ground, scowling like his dignity depended on it - and really, it very well might have.

The other two stared at him for a second before he finally barked out, “Well? What’re you starin’ at me for? Do you like the damn cake or not?”

Hardison and Parker stared for another beat, then turned to each other, then turned back to him, and finally burst out laughing. Eliot could feel the flush creeping up his ears, which he desperately tried to ignore as he waited for a real response. He did actually want to know what they thought, cause he’d spent a damn long time making that cake and he just liked it when people liked his food, okay?

Parker was the first to speak, snorting a little as she wiped a tear from her eye. “Eliot, this is literally the best cake I’ve ever eaten, which is saying something because there’s no chocolate in it.” 

Hardison nodded, still trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard. “Eliot, man, this cake is a damn masterpiece. I could eat this every single day, forreal. Just figured you’d’ve realized that based on me and Parker’s...reactions.” 

Parker wheezed at the word ‘reactions’, which wasn’t even funny, but at least Eliot knew for sure that they liked the cake. 

Eliot nodded sharply and grumbled a curt “good”, followed by a muttered “somethin’ wrong with you”. He took a bite of his own slice and tried his best to tune out Hardison and Parker’s tittering from the other side of the kitchen. 

Unfortunately, he couldn’t quite prevent his traitorous ears from picking up the other sounds of enjoyment they made while they finished their cake. For god’s sake, there were children about! Eliot huffed as he went to the sink and washed his plate and fork, frowning to himself. The worst part was that he was still mostly just endeared by their antics and the way they acted around each other. They really did make a lovely couple, all contrast and long legs and bright smiles. Eliot shook the thought out of his head. Strictly platonic. No wandering thoughts. He could do this, just a little bit longer. Besides, he wasn’t really tempted - they were a couple, and he’d always been monogamous. Wasn’t his fault that they were both unfairly attractive and - nope, not going down that road.

Other people were starting to leave, so hopefully he could put this whole thing behind him sooner rather than later and get back to his pattern of casual flings with mostly women, and holidays spent working or alone.

He was wrong. So completely, wonderfully, delightfully wrong.

~

The three of them didn’t actually end up leaving for another three hours, both to Eliot’s dismay and, secretly, delight. Nana insisted on showing Eliot some of Hardison’s baby pictures, which was both adorable and vaguely surreal because he wasn’t actually Hardison’s boyfriend, and then Eliot insisted on helping clean up because he might have been raring to get out of there but he still had manners, and then Parker fell asleep in a corner with several of Hardison’s nieces and nephews piled on top of her and was therefore entirely too cute to disturb, and so on and so forth. By the time they finally did leave, leftovers in hand and each of them hugging Nana goodbye, the sun had long since set and Eliot was ready to go home and crash. Maybe he’d even get a full six hours of sleep instead of his usual three and change.

Somehow, Hardison and Parker seemed to be the opposite, practically bouncing with energy. Eliot couldn’t really blame them; Hardison was still riding the emotional high of a successful coming out and Parker had squeezed in a nap, leaving Nana to coo over him and Hardison like the traitor she was. Eliot rolled his eyes, then closed them, letting his companions’ soft chatter wash over him as he dozed in the back seat. 

He hadn’t realized he’d actually fallen into a light sleep until Hardison’s voice shook him from his slumber. 

“Eliot? Hey, man, we’re back at your place.” Eliot sat up abruptly, unsure whether he was more shocked by being woken up or by the fact that he’d drifted off in what was still a practical stranger’s car. That wasn’t completely fair though, because is someone really a stranger anymore when their foster mom has told you embarrassing stories from their childhood? Whatever, Eliot was too tired to debate with himself about the nuances of what made someone a stranger right now. He acknowledged Hardison with a grunt, and got out of the car. 

To his surprise (and really, he should stop letting things surprise him today, because the unexpected just kept happening), Hardison and Parker both got out of the car too.

He glared halfheartedly at them. “What are y’all doing? I ain’t offerin’ you a nightcap, I got work in the mornin’.”

Hardison stammered a bit. “We, uh, figured we’d help you with the leftovers?” 

Eliot frowned, confused. “What leftovers? I thought those were for the two of you?”

The other man chuckled a little, scratching at the back of his neck. “Nana made sure to give us a little extra to share with you since you liked the food so much. She really likes you, man.”

Eliot blinked, and tried to stifle the warm, buoyant feelings rising in his chest at the woman’s thoughtfulness. She really was a saint. He smiled a little and inclined his head. “Well alright then, bring ‘em on in.” 

Parker, who’d been listening silently as usual, lit up at his acquiescence, giving Eliot a brilliant smile complete with adorable dimples and rosy cheeks. He turned away quickly, trudging up to his door and fumbling with his keys. He was tired, okay, and quite frankly the day had been more emotionally draining than anything he’d experienced in years. Wonderful, but draining. Plus, he’d had to force himself to ignore the fondness he felt for Hardison and Parker, both individually and together. It was slightly easier with Parker since he hadn’t been getting to know her over the past few weeks, but she’d crept up on him (both literally and figuratively) over the course of the day. She was guileless, blunt and straightforward in a way that probably shouldn’t have been as appealing as it was, but Eliot had always appreciated honesty. And Hardison, well. He was harder to resist, on account of his effusive demeanor and seemingly endless reservoir of affection. Privately, Eliot thought that Hardison could get even the most crotchety old recluse to like him. And no, he definitely didn’t mean himself, even if it was kind of an accurate description.

Since they’d offered to help and also knew where his kitchen was, Eliot let them put the leftovers in his fridge and plopped himself down on his favorite chair. Man, was he beat. Hours of meeting relatives, wrangling kids, and gorging himself on delicious food would do that to a man. 

He started a little when Hardison spoke. They’d made their way around him quietly, coming to sit on the loveseat across from him.

“So me and Parker were wondering...would you like to hang out with us again sometime?” Hardison asked nervously. “It would be fun!” Parker added cheerfully, turning her most winning smile on Eliot.

Eliot squinted, frowning a little. “This was supposed to be a one-time thing - I help you come out, eat some home-cooked food, we part ways.”

Hardison looked down at his feet, shuffling them. “About that...I may or may not have promised Nana that you’d be coming back for Christmas.”

Eliot damn near burst a blood vessel. “Dammit, Hardison!” he snarled.

Hardison leaned back and put his hands up. “Hey, man, listen. As we were leaving, Nana was telling me how much she liked you and asking if you’d be back for Christmas and I just panicked, okay? That woman is impossible to say no to and she looked so hopeful. Not my fault you made such a good impression!” He looked at Eliot pleadingly, which wasn’t fair because the man had some damn soulful eyes and Eliot’s self-control was already shot to hell.

Parker, meanwhile, snorted. “Hah, Eliot looks constipated.”

And really, that was the last straw. Eliot stood up, threw up his hands, and stalked away, muttering curses as he went. 

What he didn’t expect (although he probably should have, really) was to be followed. He was an intimidating guy, alright, and anyone in their right mind would have fled from his angry glare and stomping boots and grumbled threats. But not Hardison and Parker. Nope, they were apparently the only two people in the world with the survival instincts of a couple of damn lemmings, because they trailed after him without a second’s hesitation.

“Come on, man, Parker didn’t mean anything by it. And we don’t have to hang out regularly or nothing, but we both like your company and I know you had a good time today. If you want we can just keep texting like before and you can just show up for Christmas. I can tell Nana we broke up after New Year’s or something.” 

And for god’s sake, were they really following him up the stairs? 

Eliot stopped in his tracks, pinching the bridge of his nose and looking down at two pairs of beseeching, hopeful eyes. 

“...I’ll think about it. Now skedaddle, I’m goin’ to sleep.” He ushered them back down the stairs and right out the door, ignoring their indignant squawks as he all but pushed them past the threshold. 

Once he was sure they were gone, Eliot turned and leaned heavily against the door, letting his head fall back with a thunk. He wondered, not for the first time (or the last), what he’d gotten himself into. The only thing he knew for sure was that Toby was gonna have a field day. 

Fantastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've fallen head-over-ass in love with this show, this fandom, and this ship, so much so that I was inspired to write this story! Which happens to be my first-ever fanfic, lol. All mistakes are my own, and feedback is greatly appreciated!


	2. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eliot can't seem to get a grip on his emotions, Hardison and Parker are frustratingly (and charmingly) persistent, and many not-dates are had by the three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the first interlude! This chapter is a collection of smaller scenes leading up to Christmas - basically filler, but also somehow longer than the first chapter. Whoops.
> 
> Enjoy!

The morning after Thanksgiving, Eliot begrudgingly recounted the entire story to Toby, who laughed so hard at Eliot’s recollection of Parker’s unexpected appearance that he had to leave the room. 

When he came back, he was still chuckling a bit. “I cannot believe that some random girl was able to sneak up on the great Eliot Spencer just because, what, he was too busy making goo-goo eyes at Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome? That is just golden, my friend.”

Eliot scowled darkly. “If you ever tell anyone about this, you’re dead meat. I know where you live.”

Toby snorted. “Not that I have anyone to tell, but I also know you well enough not to actually fear for my life.”

Eliot rolled his eyes and went back to chopping scallions. The repetition was soothing, okay, and he needed something to keep his hands busy so he wouldn’t be tempted to fidget. Hardison and Parker had done a number on him and he was still trying to rebuild his emotional defenses.

“And for the record, I wasn’t makin’ no damn ‘goo-goo eyes’, I just wasn’t expectin’ anyone else to be in my damn house.”

“Uh-huh. Right.” Toby just grinned wider, clearly enjoying Eliot’s agitation. Bastard. “So, are you going back for Christmas then?”

Eliot shrugged noncommittally, still frowning slightly. “We’ll see. It’s not like I’m beholden to ‘em or nothin’. Wasn’t a bad time, but I ain’t lookin’ to get roped into their nonsense any more than I already have been.”

Toby scoffed. “C'mon, Spencer. Can you tell me, honestly, that you weren’t already tempted to put up another ad for Christmas anyways? You can grumble all you like but I know you had a good time. Sure, it wasn’t exactly in your comfort zone, but wasn’t it nice to have a proper family dinner again?”

Eliot’s frown relaxed into something softer, more fond. “Fine, you got me. It may have been complete and total mayhem, but it was kinda nice to feel like I was a part of somethin’. Can’t say I regret it, I just haven’t decided if I wanna do it again is all. Especially goin’ back to the same family and havin’ to come up with more lies. They’re good people and I don’t wanna muck things up, not when things went so well the first time.”

“That’s fair. But I also don’t want you to miss out, cause you deserve to be happy too y’know? Just think about it, and keep me posted.” With that, Toby patted Eliot on the shoulder and left him to his vegetable prep. 

As it turned out, the wheels had already been set in motion.

There was no going back now.

~

The following weeks passed by in something of a blur, Eliot working himself practically into the ground the first few days after Thanksgiving in a valiant attempt to wrest back some control over his life. It usually didn’t take so much effort to get his head on straight, but Eliot was feeling pretty overwhelmed by the barrage of emotions he’d been hit with, many of which he hadn’t felt or had to deal with in years.

It was a mostly futile exercise anyways, since Hardison seemed to take Eliot’s (rather laughably brief) silence as a challenge. He texted every few hours, rambling on about some nerdy tangent or another and occasionally trying to sneakily ask Eliot to hang out with him and Parker despite his assurance that they didn’t have to see each other again until Christmas. So much for that. 

Eliot, to his chagrin, only lasted two whole days before he texted back. 

Speaking of Parker, Hardison had barely gotten Eliot’s (rather begrudging) go-ahead before giving her Eliot’s number. The first time she texted him, less than a week after Thanksgiving, he was utterly baffled. The text was nothing more than a seemingly unrelated string of emojis, and if it hadn’t been signed with a ‘-P’, Eliot may have ignored it completely. As it were, he ended up spending a whole five minutes trying to decipher the meaning before tossing the phone aside with a huff and focusing on the TV instead. She texted again ten minutes later, this time with just a random series of bell, siren, and various food emojis. 

Eliot prayed he wasn’t right when he heard his doorbell ring shortly after. 

Unfortunately, he almost always was.

He answered the door with equal amounts dread and fluttering anticipation (the latter of which he promptly quashed), and was mostly unsurprised to find a bashful looking Hardison and a cheerful looking Parker staring back at him.

“Hey, man, uh, me and Parker just happened to be in the neighborhood picking up some Thai food and we realized there was no way we could eat it all ourselves, so we thought we’d surprise you?” Hardison smiled nervously, gesturing to the takeout bag swinging jauntily from Parker’s hands.

Eliot stood there silently, arms crossed and brow furrowed. He let them squirm for a minute - served them right for showing up out of the blue with no warning. This wasn’t part of their...thing, whatever it was. He hadn’t even decided if he was going to come to Christmas or not (except that he had, and he was, not that he was ready to admit it yet). 

Finally he caved, rolling his eyes and stepping aside to let them in. “You can put it on the coffee table in the living room, I guess. But if you’re gonna be stayin’, we’re gonna be watchin’ the game.”

The two of them nearly fell over each other in their excitement, skidding across the floor as they raced to his living room like a couple of overly enthusiastic puppies. By the time Eliot got there himself, plates and cutlery in hand, they had made themselves comfortable on what he was trying very hard not to think of as ‘their’ loveseat. For god’s sake, they’d only sat on it once before and now it was ‘theirs’? He needed to get a grip.

When he opened the first container, Eliot was surprised to find one of his favorites, tom yum soup. The next box contained beef satays, another go-to. In fact, each and every dish seemed to be catered to Eliot’s tastes. He squinted, looking up at Hardison and Parker with suspicion. 

“How in the hell did you know that I liked all of this? You been spyin’ on me or somethin’?” Eliot demanded, sounding more fond than intimidating despite his best efforts. In his defense, the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, and Eliot was no exception.

Hardison just beamed. “While I totally could have hacked you with my mad skills, it was actually Parker’s idea. We wanted to do something nice for you, so we went to a couple places and asked around, see if anyone recognized you. The third time was the charm, and we basically grabbed one of everything you’d ordered in the past.” Parker nodded along, smiling shyly at Eliot as Hardison continued, “We meant it when we said we liked spending time with you. And you like food, so it made sense.” 

“Also, I was happy you let Hardison give me your number, so I wanted to thank you,” Parker added. Eliot could swear he saw the faintest hint of pink coloring her cheeks as she spoke.

And really, how in the hell was he supposed to react to that? It was the nicest thing someone had done for him in years, and it took everything in him not to just melt at the gesture (or at Parker’s blush, honestly). 

Instead, he muttered a “you’re welcome” to Parker, a “well, thanks for the meal then” to them both, and loaded his plate up, studiously ignoring their twin expressions of delight as he tucked in. It really was delicious, and who was he to say no to a free meal? Let alone one delivered by such lovely - nope, not going there.

Eliot probably shouldn’t have told Toby about the impromptu dinner since the other man insisted on calling it a ‘date’, but he’d promised Toby updates and he was a man of his word. God, what he wouldn’t give to be able to compromise his integrity just enough to keep his mouth shut about his new friends. Because that’s all they were - friends.

~

From that point on, Eliot only saw more and more of the couple. Despite his radio silence just after Thanksgiving, Eliot found himself texting Hardison even more frequently than before, at least twice a day. His communication with Parker was more sporadic, but he’d try to share little anecdotes with her that he thought might amuse her. He still didn’t understand her emoji messages, but that was just Parker being, well, Parker. When he questioned Hardison about it, hoping for some kind of emoji Rosetta stone, Hardison just replied back with his own equally nonsensical array of symbols.

Honestly, those two. 

Eliot aggressively ignored the fondness that continued to override his exasperation and threw himself into his work with a vigor and a consistency he hadn’t felt since he first started cooking. Nothing like a good old-fashioned distraction, after all. But work at the culinary institute was slow during the lull between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so Eliot picked even up more shifts at his catering and bartending gigs than he usually would around this time of year. He was determined to keep himself and his treacherous heart busy so as to avoid thinking about two certain someones who had slowly but surely insinuated themselves into his every waking thought (and some of his dreams, if he was being honest). If he wasn’t brainstorming a sufficiently snarky rebuttal to text Hardison about their debate du jour, he was trying his damnedest to interpret Parker’s latest string of emojis. It also didn’t help that they kept showing up when he least expected them to.

Case in point, right now.

When Eliot worked his bartending gigs (no matter how upscale the place was), he was in the habit of assessing each newcomer who walked through the door, a holdover from his military training. He liked to know who to keep tabs on throughout the night - which customers might cause trouble, mostly. After a few bad experiences (including having to step in as an impromptu bouncer on more than one occasion), Eliot figured it was best to keep his guard up.

What he didn’t expect was to look up at the sound of the door opening to find himself face-to-face with Hardison and Parker, dressed to the nines and looking like a total power couple in their matching finery.

Shit. 

It hadn’t even been a week since they’d surprised him with dinner again (this time, all his favorite Indian dishes), and he hadn’t been planning on seeing them so soon, especially looking like, well... _that_. 

Parker was wearing a tight black dress with sequin detailing on the bodice, while Hardison was sporting a suit that was such a dark shade of purple it was almost black. Eliot would laugh at how over-the-top they looked if he wasn’t so impressed. He’d never seen them look quite so decked-out - Thanksgiving had been an informal affair, and the other times he’d seen them they were just ‘casually’ bringing over dinner. It was...a lot, to say the least.

They spotted him before he could duck away, their eyes lighting up with recognition and...huh. Eliot could swear that was affection he was reading on their faces.

God, he was so screwed. 

Before he could fully consider the less-than-platonic implications of that particular thought in regards to them, the couple practically bounded over to the bar, all but throwing themselves onto the stools in front of him and greeting him enthusiastically. Eliot couldn’t remember the last time anyone but these same two dorks had been so happy to see him. He couldn’t completely ignore the warmth bubbling up in his chest, but he could at least try not to let it show on his face too much. He was probably failing miserably if the twitching in his cheeks was anything to go by. But really, how could he not smile when they were looking at him like that?

“Eliot! We weren’t expecting to see you, oh my gosh!” Parker breathed giddily, her grin just shy of manic. Eliot wondered if she’d already been drinking or if she was just being herself. Twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag, that girl. He wished it didn’t sound quite so fond in his own head, but he was beginning to think that was a losing battle (if not a completely lost cause).

Hardison nodded, smiling almost as big as his girlfriend. “Tonight is date night and we’d heard so many great things about this place, so we just had to try it. You being here is just a bonus.”

Eliot decided to ignore the ‘date night’ comment (not to mention that seeing him was apparently a ‘bonus’, jesus christ) in favor of suspicion sprinkled with just a pinch of light teasing for good measure. “Just happened to come in while I’m workin’ here, huh? Kind of an odd coincidence, don’t ya think?”

Hardison put his hands up in a placating gesture, grinning all the while. Parker just rolled her eyes, shrugging off his gentle ribbing with now-practiced ease. “Well yeah, actually. Hardison read some reviews and apparently the drinks are amazing.” She tilted her head and gave him a questioning smile. “Don’t suppose that has anything to do with your influence?”

Eliot nodded and shrugged, aiming for nonchalance but landing somewhere in the realm of overly invested instead. “Designin’ a good cocktail menu is an art. The first time I worked here they were tryin’ too hard to be inventive and ended up with stuff no one should be drinkin’. I made some suggestions and they held up is all.” Eliot couldn’t help the note of pride in his voice. He loved what he did, and he figured he was allowed a little harmless vanity over his craft once in a while. Knowing that his drink menu was a draw for the restaurant? It felt damn good.

Hardison shook his head, whistling lowly. “You really do have a way with food - and drink, I guess, damn. Where’d you learn all this stuff anyways?”

Eliot jerked one shoulder in a half shrug and looked away. “I mean, y’all know I work at a culinary institute, but that’s also where I learned how to cook. After I came back from overseas I was pretty lost and I needed something to anchor me. I drifted for a while until I landed in Portland. I happened to bump into a chef from the institute, Toby, while I was leaving a meeting at the VA. He ended up mentoring me personally, taught me everything I know. He’s also a huge pain in my ass, and the reason I met y’all in the first place.”

Parker was looking at him with wide eyes, and Hardison looked equally stunned by the rare glimpse into Eliot’s past. Eliot cleared his throat, feeling somewhat awkward and more than a little exposed under the weight of their gazes. Then, he felt a small, warm hand covering his own where it rested on the bar.

“That’s really amazing Eliot. I’m glad you found cooking, cause you’re really good at it,” Parker said earnestly, giving his hand a quick squeeze and pulling away. Eliot mumbled something in protest that might have been “you’ve only tried one dish of mine” but otherwise stayed silent, trying to ignore the lingering warmth that Parker’s hand had left on his.

Hardison, too, had reached out, but seemed hesitant to touch Eliot like Parker had. Probably for the best. “Yeah, man, it’s important to have a passion like that. So, uh, what did you mean by this Toby guy being the reason you met us?”

Eliot sighed in relief at the change in subject. “I guess he thought I was lonely or whatever, and suggested I put up that Craigslist ad.” 

Hardison cocked his head and shot Eliot a sly smile. “Sounds like a good dude. It’d be nice to meet him someday.”

Eliot balked, just a bit. “What? Nah, that’s, uh, not necessary.”

Parker snorted, amused by his spluttering. “Hah, your face. Have you told him about us?”

Eliot scowled. “Didn’t have much choice, what with him givin’ me the idea. Wish I hadn’t though, he was awful smug about it.”

Hardison looked the picture of innocence. “What’s there to be smug about? You just made some new friends is all.”

Eliot grumbled something unintelligible under his breath. “I just didn’t think I’d get any responses. He was smug cause he figured I’d get someone’s attention and I did.”

Parker smiled slowly, gaze warm and knowing as she agreed. “You sure did.”

If Eliot didn’t know better (and he did know better, right?) he’d’ve thought she was flirting with him. That they were both flirting with him, to be honest. 

Time to deflect.

“Anyways, ain’t y’all here for dinner?” He asked pointedly, hoping they’d get the hint and clear out.

Hardison and Parker turned to each other and seemed to have a silent conversation for a moment before turning back to Eliot.

“We were thinking of having a drink first, since we’re already at the bar. Any recommendations?” Hardison asked.

Of course they wouldn’t just leave him be.

Eliot hesitated for a split second before rubbing the back of his neck, feeling almost shy (not that he’d admit it, of course). “Well, all the drinks on the menu are good, but if y’all wanted I could make some custom cocktails for you to start off with?”

Parker giggled and clapped her hands. “Yes please! I want something sweet.”

Hardison shrugged, smiling brightly. “Hey, man, I trust whatever you think I’d like.”

Eliot’s eyes crinkled slightly and he nodded, turning around so they couldn’t see him try (and fail, rather miserably) to stifle a wide, happy smile. He had a reputation to maintain, after all. Once he’d taken a few deep breaths and stopped grinning like an idiot, he set about making the drinks. 

For Parker, he chose a modified White Russian, substituting coffee liqueur with chocolate. He shuddered to think of Parker hopped up on caffeine and wondered what effect the alcohol would have on her. Guess he’d find out soon enough. 

For Hardison, Eliot made a version of an apples to oranges cocktail; orange soda and orange liqueur with some apple brandy and a dash of bitters for some much-needed balance. 

With the clementine cake incident in mind, Eliot schooled his expression and waited for their reactions.

To his secret delight they seemed to enjoy his cocktails as much as his cooking, though they were able to maintain some sense of decorum and keep their appreciative sounds to a bare minimum. 

Thank god for small miracles.

Hardison spoke first. “Damn, and I thought that that clementine cake was perfectly tailored to me. This is amazing, man, how’d you know?” 

Eliot huffed a little. “I do pay attention, y’know. And I may not approve but I know you love your orange soda and those damn gummy frogs,” he grumbled. 

Hardison quirked an eyebrow and smirked. “How’d you know they were apple flavored though? Pretty sure I never mentioned that fact.” He sounded infuriatingly smug, but at least the banter was comfortingly familiar.

Eliot just scoffed. He wasn’t about to admit he’d googled it, just in case it came in handy later. It was just...recon. Even to him, it sounded like a weak excuse. 

Meanwhile, Parker seemed to be in heaven. Her eyes were closed in pleasure as she took dainty little sips of her cocktail, which Eliot had privately dubbed ‘glorified chocolate milk’. When she finally emerged from whatever chocolate-and-alcohol-induced trance she’d entered, her cheeks were slightly flushed and her smile had turned soft and satisfied, looking for all the world like the cat that got the cream. 

This time, Eliot couldn’t fight the answering smile that bloomed across his own face, shaking his head a little. “I take it you like your drink too then?” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, much to his chagrin.

Parker nodded dreamily, pausing to take another sip before answering. “This tastes like the milk that’s left over after you eat a bowl of chocolate cereal. But also like vodka. And happiness.”

Eliot snorted a bit. “That was kinda the point, darlin’.” The pet name slipped out before he could stop himself, and he prayed that neither of them had heard it. He went still, eyes darting between them, waiting to see if they’d noticed. Deliberately calling Hardison a pet name for the sake of keeping up appearances was one thing, but using one on Parker unprompted (and involuntarily) was another.

He breathed a sigh of relief after a few seconds passed and there seemed to be no reaction, Hardison and Parker apparently too fixated on their drinks to notice. Eliot gave himself a mental pat on the back at that, pleased that he’d distracted them with his cocktails. He tried not to think too hard about the fact that he knew them well enough to cater to their tastes with such accuracy, and set about tidying the already immaculate bar. He wasn’t nervous, okay, just thorough. It didn’t have anything to do with how dapper Hardison looked or how stunning Parker was in her dress, not at all. And it definitely wasn’t because he was feeling antsy from his unexpected candor earlier, because that would be irrational and Eliot prided himself on being a very rational person, thank you very much.

After they finished their drinks, Eliot expected Hardison and Parker to go into the dining room so they could be alone for their ‘date’. In fact, he’d been counting on it - he wanted to be able to focus on his job and not the two gorgeous (kind, sweet, genuine...dammit, not _going_ there) people sitting in front of him. 

Instead, they just looked at him expectantly once again. It was clear they weren’t leaving anytime soon, so Eliot decided to humor them, sighing as he went to grab a couple of menus. He did his best to give them some modicum of privacy, but found himself unable to keep from straying too far; despite his best efforts, Hardison and Parker seemed insistent on roping him back into the conversation every time he surreptitiously tried to give them space.

“So what’s your favorite appetizer on the menu, E?” Hardison asked, his tone almost too casual.

Eliot narrowed his eyes at the nickname, trying to focus on the audacity of it rather than how warm it made him feel. Maybe they had heard his little slip earlier, because otherwise he doubted they’d be bold enough to call him that without his express permission. Though, on second thought, maybe they would be. He wouldn’t put it - or anything else - past them at this point.

“The food’s as good as the drinks, so you’d be happy with just about anythin’ on here. My personal choice would be the short rib sliders though, they’ve got some nice house-made barbeque sauce and some real thin, crispy onion rings on ‘em.”

“Hey, I’m game for anything you suggest man. That sounds amazing.” Hardison looked genuinely enthused by the recommendation, and Eliot melted a little at the show of ongoing trust the other man had for him (even if it was just in regards to food). 

Parker abandoned her menu altogether, turning to Eliot with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Do me next!” she chirped eagerly, shooting him what was probably meant to be an encouraging grin, but came out looking more...hungry. 

Between the slightly predatory smile and the innuendo, Eliot nearly choked on his own tongue. If he’d been drinking something, he’d’ve done a spit-take. As it stood, he could feel himself blushing a bit at the double entendre - and christ, was he just doomed to turn red around these two every other time he saw them? He rolled his eyes in an attempt to save face and plucked Parker’s menu out from under her. 

After a moment of deliberation (and trying to regain his composure), he handed it back. “I’m thinkin’ the steak nachos, they’re nice and medium rare and seasoned with a special spice rub. If I recall correctly there’s some cocoa powder in there, so I’d imagine it’d be right up your alley.”

All too predictably, Parker’s eyes lit up at the mention of cocoa. “That sounds perfect!”

Eliot finally made his (albeit short-lived) escape, delivering their orders to the chef himself and trying to buy himself a few minutes of reprieve by making mindless small talk with the servers.

As he chatted with one of the waiters, Eliot let his mind wander. Hardison and Parker showing up seemed to be one hell of a coincidence, but despite feeling ambushed by their appearance he believed them when they said it wasn’t planned. Eliot couldn’t quite figure out why he felt so thrown by their presence, given their tendency to just show up on his doorstep every few nights nowadays. Maybe it was a combination of their flashy clothes and the unfamiliarity of seeing them at his job instead of his house? Or the fact that his defenses had slipped and he’d shared something personal with them? Either way, it didn’t matter. Eliot wrapped up his conversation and went back to the bar, determined to do his job to the best of his abilities despite Hardison and Parker being entirely too distracting. 

As he got closer, he could see that the two of them had their heads together, giggling and gesturing and glancing at him like they thought he couldn’t see them. It looked like they were up to something, and Eliot approached them warily. He didn’t like the implications when they immediately stopped speaking as soon as he entered hearing distance. What the hell were they up to?

Apparently, the answer was ‘figuring out how to ask Eliot if he wanted to go to a movie with them after dinner even though it was their date night’, because of course they would. Good lord. It was...sweet, though, if more than a little odd. Eliot already didn’t know how he was going to make it through dinner, let alone a movie. It seemed like every time he found a way to bow out so that they could enjoy themselves (alone) they found a reason to make him stay. He wondered for a brief moment if maybe they felt obligated to include him, but he doubted that was the case. They really did just seem to like having him around, and wasn’t that a novel idea? He wasn’t used to people wanting him around much. It was kinda nice.

On the flip side, the most troubling part was how much the whole thing reminded him of the cover story they’d originally come up with for how they met and started dating him. Which wasn’t real. Because they weren’t actually in a relationship with him. Not that it was even something he’d be interested in...right?

Eliot didn’t realize until he was bringing them their first course that he’d already decided to go to the movie with them after his shift was done. 

Well, crap.

~

Despite his best efforts to stay firmly out of the way, Eliot spent most of the rest of Hardison and Parker’s meal entertaining the two, regaling them with his best (read: worst) stories from his years in the culinary industry (cockroaches, anyone?). Every time he tried to slip away, one or both of them would ask him a leading question and he’d be pulled right back into the conversation. He didn’t let himself consider why they’d be trying to rope him into their date in the first place and did his best to stay strictly professional. The few times he was able to extricate himself from the situation - mostly to serve other customers - he felt the weight of two gazes on his back, following him until he returned to his usual station and rejoined their discussion.

After they practically inhaled their appetizers, Eliot recommended the blackened catfish to Hardison and the squid ink tagliatelle to Parker. With how quickly it disappeared Eliot couldn’t be sure they’d tasted it at all, but they seemed thoroughly satisfied and that was, well, good for business. And maybe made Eliot feel somewhat gratified at having made them happy. Whatever.

And if it made him feel weirdly pleased with himself when he made Parker almost choke or Hardison accidentally snort orange soda up his nose from laughing, well. Nobody but Eliot needed to know that, and nobody ever would. 

When it came time for dessert, Eliot didn’t even offer them a menu, just asked if they wanted something sweet and disappeared into the kitchen. 

He reappeared some fifteen minutes later, holding two plates. One held a small ramekin, the other a parfait cup. Hardison and Parker could barely wait for him to explain what they were eating before digging in.

“Hardison, yours is an orange-infused creme brulee, and Parker, you’ve got a chocolate mousse parfait with raspberry whipped cream. Hope they’re to your liking. Oh, and try not to eat so fast or else you won’t be able to taste ‘em properly.”

Apparently dessert was some kind of trigger for both of them, because once again they let out appreciative moans in tandem, drawing some bemused looks from the wait staff. Eliot rolled his eyes heavenwards. He may never be able to show his face here again, painfully aware that his usual facade had long since crumbled under the force of Hardison and Parker’s combined charms. 

So much for his reputation.

At least this time he was prepared for it, managing to keep his expression mostly neutral. And yeah, a part of him was tempted to run for the hills to spare himself the effort of appearing unaffected, but Eliot Spencer was no coward, dammit. He could handle a couple of indecent noises without fleeing, even if said noises were coming from two ridiculously attractive people and nope, still not going there. Especially not after Parker’s comment from earlier. Nope.

Speaking of, Parker was the first to finish, and the first to speak. “That was so good, did you make the desserts special just like the drinks?”

Eliot smirked and shook his head. “Nah, these were both on the menu already, they just happened to suit your tastes.”

Hardison popped the last spoonful of creme brulee into his mouth with a satisfied hum. “That hit the spot, man,” he said happily.

“Glad you approve,” Eliot’s muttered, shooting for snarky but landing somewhere in the vicinity of ‘genuinely pleased’ instead.

“So, when do you get off work?” Parker asked, Hardison nodding excitedly beside her.

Eliot had almost forgotten that they’d asked him to go to a movie with them, and chose to ignore how confident they seemed that he’d want to go with them. Admittedly, he had already decided to go, but that was just him succumbing to their persuasiveness, right? God help him, he really had gone soft for these two.

He made a show of rolling his eyes, and checked his watch. “Shouldn’t be too much longer now, about...ten more minutes and I’m out of here,” and huh, time really had flown. 

Hardison and Parker both grinned, creepily in sync as usual. “Ten minutes it is.”

Eliot accepted his fate and sighed. May as well get them their bill.

~

Somehow, the movie didn’t end up being a complete disaster. Eliot had fully expected it to feel at least a little awkward since he was busting up their date (at their invitation, but still), but instead it was just...fun. After some light-hearted bickering (and buying way too much popcorn and candy), they were all able to agree on a spy thriller. They found decent seats in the middle back of the theater, filing into their row with some difficulty thanks to their plethora of snacks. Eliot managed to end up sandwiched between the couple, who had apparently abandoned the whole principle of ‘date night’ to include him. For the briefest of moments Eliot actually entertained the idea that they were, in fact, trying to date him, but he dismissed the thought almost immediately. It didn’t matter anyways - he just wasn’t interested in dating more than one person at once. Not that he’d been that great at dating one person at a time either, but he was monogamous by nature, right? Besides, they were just being nice cause he had done them a favor. And was planning on doing them another one. He wondered for a brief moment where the hell the old Eliot Spencer had gone to, because this was getting out of hand (and out of character).

While he was lost in thought, an arm seemingly materialized around the back of his chair. 

“Dammit, Hardison!” Eliot snarled quietly, thoroughly wrenched from his contemplation by the all-too-casual invasion of his personal space. “Keep your arms to yourself, man. Or sit next to your girlfriend and put your arm around her.”

Hardison didn’t budge an inch, a testament to how little Eliot’s intimidation tactics worked on him anymore (if they ever had at all). “I am already settled and comfortable thank you very much, and my arm is only touching the chair.”

Eliot glared at him, but to no effect. “Ugh, fine. But you better not touch me, alright?”

Hardison inclined his head in agreement, not taking his eyes off the screen. “Wasn’t planning on it. Chill, man, watch the previews.”

A minute later, Eliot felt another arm settle behind him. 

Oh, for god’s sake. Really?

“Parker!” he hissed. “What the hell are you doing?”

Parker shrugged. “I was feeling left out.” It was such a quintessentially Parker answer that Eliot couldn’t help but huff out a somewhat hysterical laugh. He’d thought that dinner was an ordeal, but now with her and Hardison’s proximity and the comfortable familiarity with which they treated him? Eliot had to admit he was feeling ever so slightly rattled. It was, quite frankly, embarrassing to be thrown so off-kilter by something so insignificant, but the whole night had been just this side of too much already. At least when he’d held hands with Hardison at Thanksgiving it had just been for show, but this? Far too intimate, apparently. For god’s sake, he was a grown-ass man, not some starry-eyed teenager at the theater with his highschool sweetheart. Sweethearts? Ugh, whatever.

He sighed heavily. “Remind me why I agreed to this again?”

Parker snorted a little, reaching out to pat him on the back sympathetically. “Cause you like us, silly!”

Eliot stared at her for a long moment. Then he shook his head, scrubbed at his face, and mumbled a defeated “I guess so, huh.” At this point, he had well and truly lost the will to argue with them. 

He saw Hardison shoot him a quick grin out of the corner of his eye and Eliot could hear him and Parker exchange some kind of celebratory handshake behind him. Cheeky fuckers.

At long last, the movie started and Eliot was left in relative peace for the duration. The film itself was good, albeit in a rather generic way. And, to his relief, Hardison and Parker mostly behaved themselves once they were settled. He thought he might have felt a hand brush against his hair a couple times, but he was so on edge that it might’ve just been his imagination. 

(Later, he would realize it hadn't been, having found a small braid woven into the hair on the back of his head - probably Parker's work, if he had to guess. Eliot couldn't help but be begrudgingly impressed that she'd somehow managed it one-handed.) 

Eventually he was able to relax a little more, leaning back in his seat and focusing on the screen in front of him.

When the movie (and credits, because Hardison insisted they watch those too) was finished, the two of them drove Eliot home, dropping him off with the promise to see him again soon. 

Much to his dismay, he found himself maybe, possibly looking forward to their next meeting.

~

Incidentally, Eliot only had to wait two days before seeing Hardison and Parker again. He’d been minding his own business, getting ready to make himself breakfast, when he received a rather cryptic series of texts from Hardison making sure that he was free later that day.

Eliot frowned a little. It wasn’t like Hardison to even be awake before ten, night owl that he was, and it was only 7:30. Eliot supposed he could have just stayed awake all night, dismissing the discrepancy easily. Since it happened to be his day off, Eliot replied to the texts in the affirmative, with the condition that they watch the game later like he’d been planning. Hardison texted back a minute later with a couple thumbs-up and waving emojis, promising that they’d definitely be watching the game. Satisfied, Eliot resumed his morning routine and thought nothing more of it.

At 9:00, Eliot was roused from his meditative state by the sound of a car honking - Hardison’s, from the sound of it. It was a very distinctive honk. Eliot checked his phone as he headed to the door, surprised to find three missed calls and twelve missed texts. Huh. Oops.

He opened the door to find Parker pulling guiltily away from the doorknob, hiding away...bobby pins? Of course she’d try to pick the lock, crazy girl. He stifled the swell of bemused affection that had risen in his chest and gave her a look.

“Hi, Parker. What’re y’all doin’ here”? Eliot asked, crossing his arms and waiting for an explanation. He seemed to need a lot of those these days.

Instead of answering his very reasonable question, Parker looked him up and down, turned him around, and ushered him towards the stairs. “You’re not dressed! You need to get dressed properly Eliot!”

“I am dressed - wait, what do you mean, ‘properly’? What the hell is goin’ on here?” Eliot insisted, standing firm as Parker attempted to push him further into the house. He wasn’t going to budge until she explained herself.

Parker shook her head emphatically, frowning a little. “No time! Go get your jersey!” She paused to think, then snapped her fingers as she remembered. “The one with the pirate on it!”

Eliot stared at her blankly for a moment, trying to figure out what she meant. “My...Raiders jersey?”

Parker’s eyes lit up. “Yeah, that one! Go put it on and meet us back in the car!” With that, she dashed back outside, leaving a rather confused and annoyed Eliot behind.

Whatever was happening, Eliot was just going to have to roll with it. He trudged up the stairs, dug through his closet, changed into his jersey, and locked up. He took a moment to roll his eyes before opening the car door, squeezing himself into the back seat as usual. When he did, Hardison made eye contact through the rearview mirror. His eyes were sparkling with warmth and excitement and maybe even a little trepidation (and also probably some mischief, if Eliot’s assessment was correct).

“Hey man, hope you like surprises cause we’ve got something special planned for you.”

Eliot shrugged, fighting a smile. “You bein’ awake at this hour is already a surprise.”

Parker giggled at that, and Hardison just grinned and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Yeah, yeah, I know. But forreal, I think you’re gonna love it. Just wait and see.”

~

It turned out that Eliot was going to have to wait longer than anticipated to pass judgment on said surprise. The longer they were on the road, the more agitated he got. After about half an hour he finally cracked, interrupting a spirited discussion about bungee jumping to demand where, exactly, they were going.

Parker, who had been animatedly describing the differences between various types of bungee cord, clamped her mouth shut immediately. 

Definitely not a good sign.

Hardison, meanwhile, gave a nervous little laugh, and Eliot could see him wince slightly in the rearview mirror. “I’m not gonna spoil the surprise, but uh. I probably should have mentioned that we’d be in the car for a while. Like another two hours at least. Haha. Um. Please don’t kill me?”

Eliot closed his eyes and counted to ten, willing his blood to stop boiling. “God. Dammit. _Hardison_ ,” he bit out, opening his eyes so he could direct the full force of his glare on the man in question. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry! But I knew you’d never have come with us if we told you it’d take this long to get there, and I promise it’ll be worth it.” 

Eliot huffed and grumbled something about “giving a guy a fair warning” and crossed his arms, sinking down in his seat and glaring out the window in resignation. “Fine. This surprise had better be real damn good though, makin’ me miss the football game.”

Hardison made a funny little squeaking noise and cleared his throat. “Yep, definitely, uh-huh.” Eliot squinted, but chalked the odd response up to nerves. Maybe he hadn’t completely lost his edge around these two after all.

Parker just shrugged and went back to her goal of trying to convince Hardison that their next vacation should be to the Alps because “not only can you bungee jump there but we could also visit Nate and Sophie on the way home!”

Eliot figured he might as well join the conversation since he was going to be stuck there for a while. “Who are Nate and Sophie?” 

Parker turned her whole body in her seat so that she could look at him properly, her eyes lighting up as she started babbling excitedly about her godparents. She explained that her foster dad Archie traveled a lot when she was growing up, and that when he was home he spent most of his time with his wife and ‘real’ daughter. Fostering her wasn’t planned and Archie had been the one to bring her home, so when he wasn’t around Parker was mostly left to her own devices. Nate and Sophie, being old friends of Archie’s, volunteered to watch Parker when he was away or busy, and in her mind they were just as much her parents as he was. Apparently they were currently living in France, having left Portland a year or so prior to do some globetrotting of their own.

Eliot listened with rapt attention, absorbing every detail of Parker’s story. He knew Hardison’s history pretty well, but Parker was generally a woman of few words. It was...nice, to learn more about her, and he felt for the girl she used to be. It couldn’t have been easy being overlooked and left alone by her foster father. At least her godparents seemed like good people. 

The rest of the drive went smoothly enough, save for The Jelly Bean Incident, which shall never be spoken of ever again. 

_Never. Again._

(In short, they played Beanboozled. Hardison bit down on one dirt flavored bean and spat it right back out, claiming he was ‘allergic to nasty shit’ and refusing to eat any more. Eliot, never one to back down from a dare, ate an entire handful of earthworm flavored jelly beans and almost made Hardison pull the car over so he could purge them from his (otherwise very carefully maintained) system. Parker, meanwhile, sat there and ate her share of the beans as though nothing was out of the ordinary while Eliot and Hardison looked on in horror, unable to decide if she’d just gotten extremely lucky or if she was just terrifyingly immune to the more grotesque flavors the box had provided. That girl’s commitment to her sugar addiction was practically a superpower.)

The Incident notwithstanding, the remaining two hours passed quickly and pleasantly, and before Eliot knew it they were entering...Seattle. Huh.

~

When they finally reached their destination, Eliot did, in fact, love the surprise. He walked into the stadium with an expression of naked awe on his face, his usual gruff facade stripped away and replaced with genuine excitement. Any traces of frustration Eliot had felt at being dragged on a spontaneous road trip melted away, leaving only gratitude and anticipation. He hadn’t been to a football game since he played for his high school team, and somehow hadn’t ever gone to a ‘real’ game despite his love for the sport. He’d practically had a heart attack when Hardison had given him his ticket and he registered where they were going to be sitting, just barely resisting the urge to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t actually dreaming. After the initial shock wore off, he turned back around to face Hardison and Parker, who were absolutely beaming at him.

“How in the hell did y’all swing this? Tickets sold out weeks ago, and these seats in particular are damn near impossible to get.”

Hardison just smirked. “Let’s just say I know a guy who knows a guy who knows the team’s manager. I cashed in a favor and here we are.”

Eliot shook his head in disbelief and whistled. “One hell of a favor, man.” He smiled slowly. “Guess you weren’t kiddin’ when you promised we’d watch the game later, huh?”

Hardison grinned. “I almost gave it away so many times. I’m just as pumped to be here as you are, man.”

Eliot just stared at him for a moment before walking over and hauling the other man into a crushing bear hug, hiding his face in Hardison’s shoulder so that neither him nor Parker could see how close he was to tears. As he was about to pull away, Eliot felt Parker plaster herself against his back, wrapping her arms around his middle and joining the hug to make a sort of...Eliot sandwich. He allowed it for a moment, soaking up the warmth and contentment like a cat sitting in a sunbeam. 

When he was finally able to extricate himself, Eliot turned so that he could address both of them. “Thank you guys, really. It means the world that y’all would do somethin’ like this for me, and I hope you’ll enjoy watchin’ the game as much as I know I will.” The last part was directed at Parker, who giggled delightedly. Eliot willed his already overflowing heart not to burst at the sound. 

“I can’t say I care about football as much as you guys, but I’m happy you’re happy!” she said, cheeks flushed with pleasure.

Hardison nodded, his eyes earnest and his tone sincere. “It’s the least we could do after crashing into your life like a damn tornado. And besides, I’d already been wanting to go so it was no trouble at all to invite you along. We’re glad you’re here, man.”

Before Eliot could respond, a short, matronly woman appeared at his elbow and tapped him on the shoulder. She smiled at him knowingly. 

“Young man, I couldn’t help but notice how sweet the three of you are. How long have you all been together?”

What. 

Eliot opened his mouth and closed it a couple times, feeling like a fish out of water. Parker, of all people, came to his rescue. “Oh, gosh, most people don’t even realize all three of us are an item! It’s been about four months now,” she said, grabbing Eliot’s hand and squeezing gently.

Eliot blinked, still too shell-shocked to speak. Hardison seemed to notice his continued floundering and spoke up next, taking Eliot’s other hand. “Yeah, it’s been four months since this one here became our boyfriend. He’s still getting used to it, as you can probably tell.” He chuckled a little, nudging Eliot in an attempt to bring his frazzled brain back online.

Eliot finally managed to speak, shaking himself out of his daze and giving the woman a rather unconvincing smile. “Uh, yep, about four months. Gotta love these two. Uh, how’d you…?” he trailed off uncertainly.

The woman smiled again, eyes sparkling with mirth, and gestured behind herself. Two men about her age were standing by, watching her with soft expressions. One of them waved, seemingly amused by his partner’s forwardness. “Well, it’s certainly easier to see when it’s so similar to your own situation! Anyways, you kids take care, and be good to each other.” 

With that, she flounced away toward her partners and took their hands, shooting Eliot, Hardison, and Parker a grin over her shoulder as her and her partners disappeared into the crowd.

Hardison kind of gaped after her, while Parker just grinned right back. Neither of them had let go of Eliot’s hands yet, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to notice, let alone care.

“That was really cool!” Parker chirped, swinging Eliot’s hand gently between them.

Hardison nodded faintly, then looked over at Eliot with a concerned frown marring his handsome features. “Hey, man, you okay? I could swear I saw your brain bluescreen for a second there.”

Eliot cleared his head with a vigorous shake, then pulled his hands away from Hardison and Parker as he registered the (not actually unwelcome, but definitely overwhelming) feeling of their hands in his. “I, uh. Yeah, I’m fine.”

Hardison looked dubious. “Alright, man, we’ll just give you another few minutes to reboot. I’ll admit that was kind of wild, even for me.” Thankfully, he turned his attention to Parker. “What do you think mama?” 

She looked thoughtful, but pleased. “That was really cool. It’s nice to know that older people can have these kinds of relationships too, that it can last.”

Hardison smiled softly at her, taking her hand in place of Eliot’s. “It sure can, babe. Just have to find the right people.”

Having turned away to compose himself, Eliot missed the meaningful looks the other two gave him and then each other as Hardison said the words ‘right people’. 

A few deep, calming breaths later, Eliot turned back around, none the wiser. He gave Hardison and Parker a crooked half-smile, gesturing to the stands with a tilt of his head. “We should probably head on down to our seats, yeah?”

“Yeah, man, let’s go.” Hardison led the way, letting Parker swing his hand wildly as they walked in front of Eliot. He frowned a little at their backs. He still couldn’t quite puzzle out what about him specifically made that woman assume he was a part of their relationship, and he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it meant something. Not that he was ready or willing to consider the implications that apparently he seemed to fit into Hardison and Parker’s relationship like he belonged there, of course. All he knew was that he was in a football stadium for the first time in god knows how long, about to watch his favorite team play, with the two people who had somehow become his closest friends. Any and all other quandaries could wait.

When they reached their row, Eliot gestured emphatically for Hardison and Parker to go first, determined to avoid a repeat of the movie incident. They just shrugged and filed in, letting Eliot go last. Parker ended up in the middle, seeming perfectly happy with the arrangement as she leaned her head on Hardison’s shoulder. Eliot felt a pang of something that might have been jealousy, but he shrugged it off as quickly as it had come. He just wished he had someone to be affectionate with was all. Even though he couldn’t really imagine another person being there with them, or want anyone else disrupting the familiar rhythm the three of them had found together. Whatever, Eliot just enjoyed their company, and that was good enough for him.

~

Lost in his thoughts, Eliot didn’t hear Hardison calling his name, and flinched a bit when Parker leaned over and tapped him on the leg.

“What is it, Parker?” he asked gruffly, mildly embarrassed at having been caught unawares. Again.

Parker just leaned back in her seat so Hardison could reach across her. He held something out to Eliot as he explained, “These games can get pretty loud, so I figured you might like some earplugs.” His tone was questioning and soft as he waited for Eliot to take them.

Eliot accepted the proffered earplugs slowly, shocked into silence for the umpteenth time that day. In the grand scheme of things it was a small gesture, but the thought and consideration behind it were unexpected and Eliot couldn’t deny how much it meant to him. He hadn’t talked much about his military background (nor had Hardison and Parker tried to pry, for which he was eternally grateful) so he was fairly certain they couldn’t know for sure about his PTSD. Maybe they were just more observant than they let on? Or maybe they’d done some kind of research about veterans after Eliot had shared his story at the bar? Either way, Eliot appreciated it. He met Hardison’s searching gaze and nodded, managing to choke out a gruff “thanks, man” before turning away, desperate for a distraction. He was pretty sure he’d experienced more emotions in the past few weeks than he had in the last few years.

Thankfully, Eliot was saved by Parker’s stomach growling - rather loudly, in fact. Eliot was honestly kind of impressed. She shot Eliot a very compelling pout and pleaded, “Will you come with me to get some food? We haven’t had lunch yet and I’m starving.”

Eliot laughed softly, shaking his head and rolling his eyes but getting up out of his seat nonetheless. “After you, little lady.” He looked at Hardison expectantly as Parker got up, but the other man made no move to follow.

“You comin’ with us or not, man?” Eliot asked. Hardison just shook his head. “I’m fine here. Parker knows what I like, and someone should probably watch our stuff.”

Eliot shrugged and turned to catch up with Parker as she practically skipped in the direction of the concession stands. 

As they stood in line, Eliot couldn’t help but study her. He’d never actually been alone with either of them, and Parker in particular remained mostly a mystery to him. She wasn’t really the sharing type, which he understood, but he couldn’t help but wonder what made her tick. For completely platonic reasons, of course. Because they were friends. Just friends. No matter that she was the perfect combination of adorable and attractive that had always been Eliot’s weakness and - nope. That was quite enough of that. 

Parker, unaware of Eliot’s churning thoughts, nudged him none-too-gently in the side. “What do you think you’ll get?” she chirped, eyes still glued to the menu above them.

Eliot grumbled as he rubbed at his ribs. It wasn’t much in the way of new information, but he could now add ‘has really pointy elbows’ to his small but growing collection of Parker facts. “I dunno, I might not get anythin’. Not exactly great quality food, ‘specially not for these prices.”

Parker just shrugged. “I think I’ll get a hot dog.” She paused, then shot him a look that reminded him of their...moment at the bar. And god, had that really only been two days ago? “Actually, I think I want _two_ hot dogs.” Another pause, this time to look back up at the menu. “Oh, and a slushie!”

Jesus. That had to be some kind of weird come-on, right? Eliot shook his head a little as he felt the tips of his ears start to heat up, feeling confused and vaguely aroused at the double entendre. He didn’t think his mind was _that_ deep in the gutter, but it also didn’t seem like Parker was saying those kinds of things completely on purpose. There was an air of innocence about her even when she was saying suggestive shit like that. So, like every other time before, Eliot elected to firmly ignore the potential flirtatiousness of the comment and turned his attention to the menu instead. 

At Parker’s insistence that he eat something Eliot begrudgingly ended up getting a pretzel, which Parker seemed to be oddly thrilled about. Eliot couldn’t help the feeling of fond exasperation at her quirkiness - girl was all kinds of crazy, but even a curmudgeon like him had to admit it was kinda cute. They headed back to their seats with a veritable mountain of snacks, drinks, and a couple bags of candy for Parker because she was an unstoppable sugar fiend with a problem. 

Eliot, meanwhile, was so distracted by his thoughts and the precariously balanced food in his arms that he once again ended up in the middle, sandwiched between Hardison and Parker. 

Dammit.

~

Once the game was in full swing, Eliot was finally able to relax. Sure, he was stuck sitting between his two friends that were dating and should be sitting with each other (again) and was trying his best to ignore their arms behind him (again). But watching live football was a much better distraction than the movie had been, and he found himself getting caught up in the action. It was gripping, the score neck-and-neck, and soon Eliot all but forgot about his mild discomfort (not to mention the ever-present warmth of Hardison and Parker surrounding him).

That was, until, there was a pause in the game for a commercial break, and the loudspeaker announced the Kiss Cam. 

Eliot wasn’t really the religious type, at least not since his time in the service, but in that moment all he could do was pray that the cameras stayed far, far away from them. 

Unfortunately for him, luck was not on his side that day. He watched in barely-disguised horror as the giant monitors panned directly over to where they were sitting, landing on him...and Parker. First the random woman thinking he was a part of Hardison and Parker’s relationship, then Parker’s oddly provocative hot dog comment, and now this? All Eliot could do was silently curse the fact that he was in the middle seat and shake his head stiffly, hoping that the camera operators were feeling merciful. 

Again, no such luck. The cameras remained and the crowd began to get impatient, clamoring for a kiss.

Just as Eliot was about to get up and make a run for it, Hardison beat him to the chase. He leaned over and pecked Eliot on the cheek, pulling away quickly with a slightly nervous grin and clapping the other man on the back. 

Eliot crossed his arms and slowly turned towards him, narrowing his eyes and trying to level his best death glare at the other man despite the crimson flush creeping up his neck. Just as he was sure he’d managed to intimidate Hardison into regretting he’d ever gone near him in the first place, he felt a small hand land on his jaw and pull him in the opposite direction. What in the -

Parker, not one to be left out, had decided to tug Eliot back towards her so she could place a kiss of her own on his cheek. Her lips just barely missed the corner of Eliot’s mouth - way, _way_ too close for comfort - and the touch tingled like static electricity on his skin. She pulled away just as quickly as Hardison had and grinned just as wide, looking up at the monitors with slightly rabid glee painting her features. Eliot couldn’t bear to look up, knowing that all he’d find was his wholly embarrassing lapse in control broadcast for all to see. Feeling himself blushing furiously was bad enough without having to see it in high definition on a monitor bigger than his truck. 

The crowd, meanwhile, went wild. 

Eliot just sank into his seat, pulling his arms tighter around himself and refusing to look at either of his companions as the stadium rang out with cheers and wolf whistles.

God, but he hoped this particular moment wasn’t going to be televised.

When the nightmare was finally, blessedly over, the cameras having turned their attention on some other poor unsuspecting bastard, Hardison had the nerve to poke a murderous-looking Eliot in the arm. Of course he wouldn’t know better than to leave well enough alone, despite already having Eliot’s most furious scowl cast his way. Typical. Eliot refused to acknowledge that it was his own damn fault they weren’t at all scared of him and stayed silent.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Hardison asked. When Eliot didn’t respond, still staring stonily out at the field, Hardison huffed impatiently. “Come on, man, talk to me,” he insisted, his tone wheedling and apologetic.

Eliot continued to ignore him, but Hardison was annoyingly persistent. “Elioooottttt,” he whined, continuing to poke and prod at Eliot’s arm, still crossed tightly against his own chest.

Finally, Eliot snapped. “Dammit, Hardison, what?” he bit out, refusing to fully meet the other man’s gaze and instead watching him out of the corner of his eye. 

Hardison pouted. “Look, I’m sorry that I - well, we - sprung that on you just now. It was just a dumb little peck on the cheek between bros, right? No harm, no foul, just guys being dudes.” He shrunk in on himself almost imperceptibly as he continued, his nervous laugh fading and his voice starting to shake a little. “And I dunno, I guess I was feeling kinda bold, cause usually it’s straight people that get those moments y’know? I just wanted to make a statement cause between Nana and that lady earlier, I’ve felt truly seen for the first time.” He faltered, then pressed on, his voice taking on a slightly hysterical quality. “I’m sorry for not respecting your space, I should have asked permission and I really hope I didn’t make you too uncomfortable, you probably don’t even like guys and that was probably weird cause straight dudes don’t do stuff like that and just because you said you’d flirt with anyone in your ad doesn’t mean -” Hardison was getting more and more worked up as he rambled, eyes wide and panicky.

Eliot sighed heavily, the tension bleeding out of him as the unfamiliar desire to protect and comfort took over. God, but the other man could be an idiot, no matter how big his brain was. There was no reason to get this worked up over something as small as a kiss on the cheek, even if Eliot himself was still reeling a little bit from it. Time to assuage Hardison’s fears, because that was just...what Eliot did now, apparently. 

Hardison squeaked a little and promptly shut his mouth as Eliot turned to face him properly, this time with soft eyes instead of a scowl.

“Look, man. It ain't that big a deal. I’d’ve liked some kinda warnin’ first, but like you said, no harm, no foul.” He paused, deliberating on whether or not he should continue and deciding to push through. In for a penny and all that. “And, uh, for the record, I do. Like guys, that is. So, uh, it wasn’t all that weird. Don’t worry about it.”

Hardison’s eyes, already wild with anxiety, practically bugged out of his head at the admission. His voice cracked a little as he replied, “Oh, well, good to know, um. Sorry, again, for coming at you like that.”

Parker took that as an opportune moment to add her own two cents to the conversation. “Eliot’s cheek was all scratchy.” Eliot turned towards her, his face the picture of befuddlement. She just smiled at him. “Oh yeah, and what Hardison said. Sorry for popping your personal space bubble.” 

Eliot couldn’t tell if she actually meant it or if she just felt obligated to apologize, but that was just Parker. You could never be too sure with that girl.

~

Thankfully, the rest of the game was nothing but good, sporting fun. No more awkward cheek kisses or weird comments, just Eliot watching football with some buddies. A completely normal, platonic event, with no conflicting feelings or blushing or probably (hopefully?) accidental innuendos.

Still, the first half of the game had delivered all of those things in spades, so Eliot figured he was owed some kind of reprieve so he could actually enjoy himself. And enjoy himself he did, once he forced himself to relax again. He was determined to make the most out of this experience - it wasn’t every day (or year, or decade even) that he got to go to a football game, let alone one in which his favorite team was playing. Plus, they were winning. The Raiders weren’t the most consistent team, but Eliot had lived in California for a few years post-service and found himself enjoying the irony of the team’s name. There were better teams to root for (including the opposing Seahawks), but Eliot was nothing if not loyal. In this case his loyalty paid off, because after some back and forth and a thrillingly close game, the Raiders prevailed. 

Eliot couldn’t have stopped himself from pulling Hardison into a celebratory hug if he’d wanted to, which he didn’t despite his earlier agitation. Like before, Parker joined in on the embrace, her face pressed into his shoulder blade. And if Eliot felt warm and happy being surrounded by his people, well. It was just the excitement of victory, nothing more. 

Wait, his people? 

Jesus. Thinking like that was a slippery slope, and one Eliot didn’t care to fall down. They were his friends, but not...his. Not like that, not like family. It wasn’t his place. But he could worry about that later - right now, it was time to celebrate. 

When they all pulled apart, Eliot smiled at Hardison and Parker and gestured to the exits. “I know a good restaurant around here if y’all want to get dinner before we head home.”

Predictably, Parker’s eyes lit up at the mention of food. “Yes please! What kind of stuff do they have there?”

Eliot described the menu to her as they left the stadium and walked back to Hardison’s car. The drive to the restaurant was short, and the wait wasn’t too bad either - perks of knowing the best hole-in-the-walls. When they were seated, Eliot was surprised to find Parker sliding into the booth next to him instead of sitting with Hardison. He thought better of questioning it, instead deciding to accept his fate and scoot as close to the wall as he could. Apparently when he was involved they stopped acting like a couple altogether, though he supposed it was better than them acting all mushy around him. They were just three pals out to dinner, so why did Eliot almost feel like it was a date? And for that matter, how would a three-way date even work? Would it be like a game of musical booths so that everyone could sit next to everyone else at some point? 

Eliot snorted a little to himself at the idea. He could absolutely imagine Parker getting up to sit with Hardison halfway through their appetizers, and Hardison coming to sit with him while they waited for dessert. It was an absurd thought, but an amusing one. Eliot was quick to dismiss it though - it felt a little too real for comfort. 

As usual, Hardison and Parker asked for Eliot’s recommendations, which he gave rather enthusiastically (for him, at least). It still made something warm settle in his chest to know that they trusted his instincts when it came to food, given how important it was to him. The appetizers were delicious; mozzarella-filled meatballs with homemade marinara sauce, pumpkin ravioli, and an order of fried calamari that Eliot got for himself but that Parker kept stealing pieces of, the little thief. 

Dinner itself was similarly enjoyable, both in terms of the food and the easy conversation that flowed between the three of them. Hardison entertained Eliot and Parker with a dramatic reenactment of the one time he tried to hack the Pentagon servers in high school and how the FBI had busted into Nana’s house and scared the bejesus out of her, poor woman. Eliot had Hardison and Parker in stitches as he recounted how he once tried to sneak through his first girlfriend’s window, got stuck in a tree, and had to wait for the fire department to come rescue him with a ladder. 

And Parker? Well.

Instead of sharing a story of her own, Parker chose to tell Eliot about the first and only time she’d managed to convince Hardison to go skydiving with her, cackling gleefully as she recalled how he’d pretty much screamed the whole way down and was fully weeping by the time they landed. It had Hardison hiding his face in his hands as Eliot burst out laughing, wiping tears from his eyes as he struggled to breathe. God, but they were fun to be around. 

Having well and truly learned his lesson by now, Eliot made sure to prepare himself for Hardison and Parker’s...salacious reactions to sweet things. Dessert brought out something primal and disgusting in both of them, for whatever reason. At least this time Eliot was ready for it. 

Needless to say, the tiramisu and panna cotta he chose for them were a hit.

When it was time to pay, Eliot’s attempt to put his card down so they could split the bill was thwarted as Hardison grabbed the check with more speed than Eliot would have expected from a geek who avoided the gym like the plague.

“My treat, man. This was a great recommendation, thanks for showing us this place.” Hardison beamed at Eliot from across the table.

Eliot’s face contorted into a strange, confused combination of a scowl and a smile. “I figured we were gonna split the bill? You already got us the tickets, and drove us here…” He squinted. “And, y’all’ve been bringin’ me dinner every few days. I don’t wanna be some kinda freeloader here.”

Hardison just waved his hand and scoffed playfully. “Nah, man, it’s really my pleasure. Makes me feel good to know that I can take care of things, y’know? Nana always provided, but growing up I didn’t have a whole lot. So, now that I have the means, it’s nice to treat my peeps here and there.”

Eliot did his best to stifle the warmth and rightness he felt at Hardison calling them his ‘peeps’ (and how it echoed his own thoughts earlier) and shook his head, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Well I appreciate it, man. I’ve gotta admit I’ve enjoyed havin’ y’all bring me dinner. And I still need to figure out how to repay you for bringin’ me to the game today. Most fun I’ve had in years, honestly. Thank you again.”

Hardison just smiled bashfully and looked down, fiddling with his napkin. Parker took the opportunity to offer her two cents, declaring, “Oh, I know! You should agree to come to Christmas with us!”

Hardison whipped his head up to look at her so fast that Eliot wondered if the other man had given himself whiplash. “Girl, you can’t just ask that!” he whispered sharply. 

Eliot just chuckled, drawing both Hardison and Parker’s attention. “Alright, you got me. I was plannin’ on comin’ anyways, but I may as well put y’all out of your misery now. I’ll be there.”

Hardison’s eyes widened and a grin spread across his face as he processed the information. Parker just squealed and threw herself at Eliot, enveloping him in a rather graceless side hug. 

Eliot awkwardly wrapped an arm around her as she clung to him, patting her on the back and clearing his throat. Hardison just looked pleased, not seeming to care that his girl was cuddling up to another man. Weirdos. Just when it seemed like Parker might never let go, the waitress came back with their check and Eliot was able to gently pry her off so they could get up and leave. 

What a day.

~

The ride home might have been relaxing, the sky having faded into a dim twilight, if not for Hardison handing the reins over to Parker. The woman drove like a getaway driver, weaving through traffic with sharp turns and hard stops that had Eliot clutching onto the ceiling handle for dear life. There was no way he was going to be able to doze on the way back, no matter how tired he was. Parker, meanwhile, seemed unaware of Eliot’s plight, humming idly to herself as though nothing was amiss despite her terrifying maneuvering.

With Parker otherwise occupied, Hardison ended up twisting in his seat to face Eliot, engaging him in an impassioned debate about the future of food. It quickly devolved into petty squabbling as Eliot vehemently rejected Hardison’s insistence that molecular gastronomy was the best way to go until -

Their bickering was interrupted loudly and abruptly by Parker, who had chosen that moment to burst into song, barely holding a tune as she practically screamed the beginning of ‘Jingle Bells’ at the top of her lungs. Before Eliot could ask Hardison what in the hell was happening, the other man followed suit, frantically belting out the first verse of ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ an octave too high and heaving a relieved sigh once he’d finished. 

Eliot, as usual, was utterly baffled by the pair’s antics. “Uh...anyone wanna explain to me what in the Sam Hill that was all about?”

Parker caught Eliot’s eye in the rearview mirror and flashed him one of her trademark manic grins. “Whenever you see a tree on a car, you have to sing a verse of a Christmas song! No repeats either, and you can’t sing the same song as anyone else or you lose.”

Eliot still looked and felt wholly perplexed. “What happens if you lose?” he asked cautiously.

Parker just shrugged cheerfully. “Nothing really!”

Eliot frowned. “What happens if you win?”

It was Hardison’s turn to shrug. “Also nothing, to be honest. We don’t even really keep score.”

Eliot shook his head incredulously. “What the hell’s the point then, other than scarin’ me half to death?”

Parker snorted, and Hardison uttered a faint “oops” as she explained. “It’s just fun! Sophie got me into the game, and I introduced Hardison. I guess you could say it’s a holiday tradition!”

“This Sophie woman seems like one hell of a character. Did she come up with the idea?” Eliot asked.

Parker frowned a little, her nose crinkling up. Adorable. “I honestly don’t know. Oh! You should meet her someday!”

Not this again.

“I, uh, aren’t her and her husband in France right now?” Eliot asked, hoping he’d remembered correctly.

He could see Parker pouting in the mirror. “Yeah, they are.” Her face brightened a little as she continued. “But they might be coming back for Christmas!”

Eliot grimaced a little. “That’s nice, I’m sure you ‘n’ Hardison will have a lovely time with ‘em.”

Hardison turned in his seat again with a thoughtful look in his eye. That never panned out well for Eliot, in his (albeit fairly limited) experience. Oh boy.

“Since you already agreed to come to Nana’s, maybe we can swing by Nate and Sophie’s too for a bit. Parker hasn’t told them about the whole poly thing yet either.” Hardison said slowly, raising an eyebrow in question.

Eliot frowned. “Now that, I definitely didn’t sign up for,” he said, catching Parker’s mournful look in the rearview as he spoke. “But we’ll see. No promises.” Eliot made sure to say the last bit firmly, determined not to give in just because Parker looked a little sad -though he had to admit, that pout was killer. At least with the possibility of Eliot joining her and her godparents on the table, Parker didn’t look quite so forlorn anymore, thank god. But when had Eliot gotten so invested in making sure she wasn't sad? That they both weren’t, for that matter?

At long last, the ride was over, Parker having pushed the car to its limits and getting them home in just under two hours instead of the usual two and a half. She pulled into his driveway, tires screeching, and they both waved out the window to him as he walked up to his door. Eliot found himself waving back as they drove away, their infectious enthusiasm causing a smile to bloom across his face, slow and soft. 

Not for the last time, Eliot found himself cursing his traitorous heart. He was so, _so_ screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Now introducing Nate, Sophie, and Archie (by proxy, but still). Let me know if y’all want to see them in the Christmas chapter!  
> -Every time I’ve played Beanboozled I’ve been the Hardison of the game. I take one bite of a nasty jelly bean and I am outtie.  
> -See if you can spot the Brooklyn Nine Nine reference - it's somewhere in the last half of the chapter!  
> -the Christmas tree game they play is something my aunt introduced my mom and I to, and that we now play every year. It’s just as stressful and unrewarding as it sounds, but it’s tradition, and you don’t mess with tradition. 
> 
> Once again all mistakes are my own, and comments are very much appreciated! <3


	3. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas has finally rolled around and with it come a multitude of emotions, revelations, and, of course, delicious food.
> 
> Or, Eliot finally realizes just how much Hardison and Parker mean to him, Nana gives good advice, and festivities (and shenanigans) abound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally Christmas!  
> ...In July, lol. Whoops!
> 
> I know it's been a long time coming, but I hope that this extra long installment (over 18k words!) makes up for it. This chapter is dedicated to all of the lovely people who've left encouraging comments over the past months - seeing how much y'all have enjoyed the story has really motivated me and your support is greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy this new chapter! <3

To Eliot’s (rather embarrassing) relief, Hardison and Parker didn’t stop their daily texting and frequent surprise dinner routine with him after he’d agreed to go to Christmas at Nana’s. A small part of him had wondered if they’d just been buttering him up so he’d come along, but he also knew them, knew what good people they were despite being some of the oddest folks he’d ever met. And really, he had nothing to worry about - nobody puts that much effort into spending time with someone unless they really care. It was somewhat of a novel concept to Eliot, being lavished with that much attention, but it was a welcome change. He hadn’t fully realized how bleak and empty his life had felt before Hardison and Parker had swept through it like a damn hurricane. They were a vibrant splash of color in his previously grey life and even he, in denial as he usually was, could admit how much he reveled in their company.

God, he was such a sap.

He did try his best not to think about it though, because that would be dangerous and he didn’t need to get any more attached than he already was. Which was...rather inextricably, to be honest. Eliot knew after the football game that he’d made two friends for life, and at this point he wouldn’t trade Hardison and Parker for the world.

Which made it all the harder when he realized just how gone he really was for them.

Christmas was only a few days away, and Eliot was starting to...not panic, because Eliot Spencer didn’t panic, but he'd been feeling an ever-increasing combination of anticipation and dread as the holiday loomed closer and closer on the horizon. He’d been in the middle of watching a game, relaxing after a now-rare dinner alone and thinking about seeing Hardison's family again. And, while he was looking forward to more good food and good conversation, the anticipation of seeing Nana again had him gnawing anxiously at his cuticles. She’d seemed to approve of him the first time around (maybe even liked him if her invitation to return was anything to go by), but from what Eliot could tell she was a shrewd woman, and intuitive besides. He suspected that they’d gotten lucky that she’d bought their story before, especially since they’d literally come up with it while idling in her driveway some five minutes prior. This time, he had a feeling that she’d cotton on pretty damn quickly to the fact that he wasn’t actually Hardison’s (and Parker’s) boyfriend - especially since it must be pathetically obvious how much he wanted to be.

Wait.

What? 

Eliot froze as the revelation rang out in his head, clear as day. He wanted what now?

...Shit, fuck, dammit all to hell. 

If he hadn’t already been sitting down, his legs may very well have given out from under him. This wasn’t - couldn’t - be happening. He’d been so careful, hadn’t he? He’d tried to shore up his emotional defenses so that his mind wouldn’t go there, but clearly something somewhere had gone terribly awry. 

Refusing to succumb to the dread creeping up his spine, Eliot took a deep breath and surveyed the facts, this time vowing to be completely truthful with himself so that he could figure out why the completely unwarranted (and definitely unwanted) thought had popped into his head in the first place.

One: He was, undeniably, attracted to both Hardison and Parker in a very non-platonic way. That had been true from the moment he’d laid eyes on both of them, no matter how much he’d tried to suppress and ignore said attraction. For god’s sake, he’d practically been struck dumb the first time he’d seen Hardison, and if Parker hadn’t scared the life out of him he probably would have embarrassed himself in front of her too.

Two: He was exceptionally fond of the both of them and enjoyed the time they spent together immensely, innuendos and all. They’d become the best friends he’d ever had, and he missed them when they weren’t around despite seeing them almost every other day. Eliot couldn’t remember the last time he’d formed such a strong attachment to, well, anyone. Maybe Toby, but that relationship didn’t involve complicated romantic entanglements or the same magnetic pull he felt towards Parker and Hardison.

Three: He was lonely, chronically single, and for the first time in a long time found himself actively craving all the things - both the good and the bad - that came with a relationship. He often caught himself watching Hardison and Parker longingly, coveting the same kind of easy affection they showed each other and not-so-secretly wishing they’d turn those attentions on him as well. 

Four: It seemed like they might see him as more than a friend too. Some of the things Hardison and Parker said sounded awfully suggestive, but that could just be their personalities - some people were just flirty by nature...right? Then there was the matter of their little excursions. Toby had insisted on calling them ‘dates’ when Eliot vaguely recounted the time he spent with the two, but Eliot wasn't sure if he was just teasing him as usual or if that was really what he thought they were. Friends had dinner together, but usually not quite so often. Friends went to sporting events together, but it usually wasn’t such a heartfelt affair. Friends went out in public together, but didn’t usually get mistaken for a poly trio - like, ever. But, then again, Eliot felt like he hadn’t done nearly a good enough job at concealing his feelings. That could then mean that Hardison and Parker knew he liked them and didn’t want to bring it up because they didn’t feel the same. As far as Eliot was concerned, it really could go either way.

And, finally, five: if he allowed himself to hope, Eliot could see the potential for the three of them to forge something lasting and real and good with each other. After just a few short weeks, Eliot knew that Hardison and Parker were going to be in his life for a very long time - as long as he played his cards right and didn’t irrevocably blow it all to hell, of course. There was something about being around them that felt right. The three of them somehow just...made sense.

Having surveyed the facts at hand, Eliot could only come to one conclusion: he did, in fact, want to date Hardison and Parker. Might even be halfway to falling for both of them, if he was completely honest.

Fucking hell. 

Eliot mulled over the epiphany, turning it around in his head until it truly sank in. He wanted this (pretty badly, it seemed, now that he was finally being truthful with himself), but what if he was wrong and Hardison and Parker didn’t want him to join their relationship? What if he took the plunge and it all went horribly sideways? His track record wasn’t the best, and that had been when he was only dating one person at a time. Polyamory, as he saw it, was considerably more complicated to navigate, and screwing things up with Hardison and Parker just wasn’t an option. He valued their friendship too much to risk losing them to a breakup. And, what was worse, he would lose them both if it came to that. They were perfectly fine as they were, anyhow, with their effortless chemistry and mutual adoration for each other. Adding Eliot to the equation would only interfere with what they already had.

...Right? 

A small voice in the back of his head insisted that it could work, could last, but Eliot staunchly ignored it.

So that was that, he decided. He’d play the part, and pray that Nana bought their story, and lo- ahem, _care_ about Hardison and Parker from afar. Well, not too far - the whole point was to keep them in his life, after all - but as friends and nothing more. Besides, friendships tended to be more enduring than romances anyways, at least in his experience. And, god help him, he wanted them in his life for as long as they would have him.

What he didn’t bank on (although he really, really should have) was them asking him to date them, but that would come much, much later.

First, Eliot had to survive Christmas.

~

Two days before Christmas Eve, Eliot woke up in a cold sweat. 

Presents.

He’d been so distracted by his (not actually all that shocking, the more he thought about it) realization that he had an all-consuming, ridiculous crush on his best friends that getting them gifts had all but slipped his mind. 

Now, the question at hand was what on earth to get them. Eliot wracked his brains for a minute, still barely awake and tangled awkwardly in his sheets. Hardison was a techie, constantly rambling about all the latest gadgets and other electronic nonsense, but Eliot mostly tuned that particular topic of conversation out completely. The sci-fi nerdy crap wasn’t nearly as bad to listen to, so he figured he could probably pull from his (still pretty limited, unfortunately) knowledge of Hardison’s favorite pieces of pop culture instead. But...shit, was it Star Wars or Star Trek he was more into? Eliot cursed his past self for teasing Hardison about ‘Trek Wars’ instead of paying better attention. Stuff like that came in handy, like knowing that the gummy frogs Hardison ate were apple-flavored. 

Parker, on the other hand, was another story. At least Hardison’s interests had actual merchandise associated with them, but Parker? The woman was all over the place, and Eliot couldn’t usually get much of a read on her even on the best of days. He knew she was a skydiving instructor, but that didn’t really translate into a tangible gift. He supposed he could get her some kind of gift card to REI or whatnot, but that seemed like a copout. Eliot was a thoughtful gift-giver, dammit, and money had always seemed too impersonal for his tastes. But it couldn’t be anything too personal either, because he still wasn’t their boyfriend and he didn’t want to overdo it, especially not now that he understood the true depth of his feelings for them.

Looked like Eliot was going to have to get creative. 

He got dressed quickly (thank god he had some time before work) and headed to the mall, hoping for some inspiration. Once there, Eliot felt overwhelmed - there were so many people and shops and kiosk vendors trying to peddle their products and it made Eliot want to turn right back around and leave. But, damn him, he was unwilling to settle for giving Hardison and Parker crappy presents. So he took a deep breath, mustered up all his strength, and pressed onwards, marching himself further into the mall like the soldier he was no longer. 

And, if he quite literally had to hold his breath as he passed by Yankee Candle so the overpowering smells coming from the doorway didn’t knock him flat on his ass, well. Nobody was impervious to everything no matter how badass they were, not even Eliot Spencer.

The first store that caught his eye as he wandered the mall was the aptly named ThinkGeek. It seemed like the perfect place to look for Hardison’s gift, so Eliot took a few tentative steps inside. That was, until, he remembered that he still didn’t know whether it was Star Wars or Star Trek that Hardison liked and walked right back out, head hung low.

Crap. Maybe the mall hadn’t been a good idea after all. 

Feeling oddly defeated, Eliot sat down on a nearby bench and took another deep, calming breath. Time to regroup. So: Hardison liked nerdy things, but Eliot couldn’t remember exactly what. Parker liked...sugar? She wasn’t much of a material person as far as Eliot knew, so - 

Wait. He could work with that.

Eliot yanked his phone out of his pocket and made a quick call, heaving a sigh of relief as he hung up. A small smile crept across his face at the little victory; Parker’s gift had been dealt with. Now if he could only figure out what to do for Hardison…

Eliot found it rather ironic that somehow Parker’s present had ended up being the easier of the two to come up with, given her general air of mystery and, conversely, the way Hardison rambled endlessly about his own interests. 

After sitting on the bench and pondering for a frustratingly lengthy period of time, Eliot finally got up and headed back towards the nerd store. He was pretty sure that it was, in fact, Star Wars that Hardison liked, and if not? Well, that was what gift receipts were for. Besides, he couldn’t really come up with an alternative at the moment, and if he didn’t get something soon he’d be late for work.

Thankfully, once Eliot actually started to browse, he found that he recognized some of the names of characters and places on the merchandise. He was positive that Hardison had mentioned R2D2 at one point, and picked out a mug in the shape of said robot (“it’s a _droid_ ,” he could practically hear Hardison’s voice in his head correcting him) for Hardison to drink his fluorescent orange sludge out of. Eliot shivered a little at the thought. As he was about to pay for the mug, he also spotted a USB drive shaped like another robot (“droid!”), this time a circular white and orange one. Perfect. Eliot grabbed it and plopped it onto the counter next to the mug. After the bored-looking cashier rang him up and Eliot paid, he was finally able to leave the mall, all but running back out to his truck and away from the thronging masses. 

Thank god that ordeal was over. 

~

On Christmas Eve, Eliot had one tradition: invite Toby over for Chinese food and beer.

(And maybe gossip a little, but that was a firmly unspoken part of the tradition.)

They’d been getting together on Christmas Eve almost since they’d met; Toby’s kids were grown and had moved away to start families of their own and Eliot had next to no one to spend time with over the holidays. They’d become friends quickly after Toby had taken Eliot under his wing, and in some ways Toby was like a father figure to Eliot (or maybe an older brother, given how annoying and pushy he could be).

He’d had to turn down Hardison and Parker’s invitation to get dinner with a twinge of regret, but he didn’t have many traditions and the few he did have were important to him. Besides, he’d be seeing them tomorrow anyways and he could use some time apart from them to prepare himself.

A knock on his door roused Eliot from his contemplation, and he cursed internally as he realized he was smiling softly at the thought of his...friends. Dammit, he was going to have to re-learn how to school his features if he had a chance in hell at not giving himself away to Hardison and Parker.

Clearly it wasn’t working, if Toby’s reaction when Eliot opened the door was anything to go by. 

“Hey Spencer! How’s my favorite lovestruck idiot doing?” he crowed, smug smile out in full force as he stepped past Eliot into the foyer.

Eliot rolled his eyes and grumbled but pulled the other man in for a quick hug nonetheless, careful not to jostle the six pack of beer he was holding. “I’m fine, come on in.”

Toby raised his eyebrows. “No comeback for the lovestruck thing?” he said incredulously as they walked further into the house.

Eliot just sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, not meeting the other man’s disbelieving stare. “About that...I realized a couple days ago that I do maybe want to date them.”

Toby went still for a second, then burst out laughing. “No shit, Sherlock!” he managed to say between guffaws. “You’ve been gone for them since that Hardison guy walked through your door and that Parker girl scared the shit outta you.” He paused to put the beer down on the kitchen table and plopped down on one of the chairs. “How’d you finally figure it out?”

Eliot sank into his own seat across the table, shaking his head as he reluctantly explained himself. “I was thinking about how I’m goin’ back for Christmas,” - here he glared at Toby, who had clearly been about to interject (presumably to gloat) - “and was thinkin’ about Hardison’s foster mom, cause she’s a sharp woman. Then I found myself worryin’ that she’d probably be able to tell that I wasn’t their boyfriend because I’m so damn obvious about wantin’ to be - and boy if that realization didn’t just come outta nowhere and knock me flat on my ass. So then I had to sit down and really be honest with myself about my feelings and...here we are.”

Toby whistled a little and gestured for Eliot to continue. He listened intently as Eliot went back through the events of the past month in more detail, having to stop as Toby just laughed harder and harder. He really should have known better than to include certain things, such as Hardison and Parker crashing their own date to hang out with him and Hardison having called him ‘E’ at the bar, but it felt good to tell someone about everything. 

(Well, almost everything - the kiss cam debacle was something Eliot fully planned on taking to the grave.)

On the flip side, Toby now had enough blackmail material to ruin Eliot’s tough guy reputation for good - not that he would, of course (or at least he certainly hoped not).

Toby wiped a tear from his eye as he looked at Eliot with shock and amusement. “He called you, Eliot Spencer, a nickname. And you didn’t even punch him once for the privilege?” 

At that, Eliot faceplanted onto the table and put his arms around his head in an attempt to hide his now-crimson cheeks. “Shut. Up.”

“Anyone else and you would have broken their nose. Damn, buddy, you’ve got it bad,” Toby chuckled.

Eliot just groaned, muffled by the fact that his face was still glued to the tabletop. “Fuck.”

Toby snorted. “I mean...maybe you should.”

Eliot’s head shot up off the table and he fixed Toby with a potently venomous glare. “Go to hell,” he growled.

“Whoa there, I meant no offense...and Merry Christmas to you too.” Toby chuckled at his own joke before his expression sobered. “That was going to be my next question though; what are you planning on doing about this whole ‘wanting to date your friends who are already a couple’ thing?”

Eliot leaned back in his seat and sighed, his frown deepening as he considered the question. As he gathered his thoughts, Eliot ran a hand through his hair and tapped his fingers against the table, his agitation breaking his usual composure. His voice, when he finally spoke, was slightly strained. “Honestly? Nothin’, man. They’re my friends, and that’s how it’s gonna stay.”

“But why? I mean, they’re basically dating you already, right?” Toby asked, sounding genuinely confused.

Eliot shook his head a little and sighed again. “I can kinda see where you’re comin’ from, but it’s not like that, or at least I don’t think it is. And even if it was, I’m not really relationship material.” He looked down and continued, softer, “And I guess I don’t wanna risk losin’ their friendship on the off chance it might work out.”

Now it was Toby’s turn to sigh. “Eliot, you’re fidgeting, which for you basically means a full-fledged freakout. This is clearly a big deal. Why are you so sure you’d lose them?”

Eliot learned forward and propped his head up with one hand, drawing idle patterns on the tablecloth with the other and refusing to meet Toby’s eyes. “My last serious relationship was with my highschool sweetheart, which was over ten years ago. I’ve dated here ‘n’ there since I got discharged, but nothin’ ever seems to stick. I dunno, seems like I’m just not all that good at romance. I ain’t exactly the most outwardly expressive person, and people like Hardison and Parker deserve the big gestures, the wooin’, all that stuff. I’m more of a breakfast in bed, know your coffee order typa guy. It just doesn’t really seem like enough for ‘em.”

Toby leaned back in his chair and regarded Eliot for a moment. When he leaned back in, his demeanor was gentler and all traces of his earlier teasing were gone. “Listen, Spencer. You’re a damn good guy. Yeah, you might not be much of a sharer but you’ve got a good heart and a sound head on your shoulders. There are lots of different ways to show you care about someone, and there’s no one ‘right’ way to be romantic. You don’t have to be the overly demonstrative, open book type to find and deserve love.”

Eliot considered it, then shrugged. “I guess that’s true. But I don’t think I can make up for my lack of relationship experience just by carin’, y’know? Especially not when I’m so far outta my depth, what with there bein’ two of ‘em.”

Toby nodded as Eliot spoke. “I get that, I really do, but it’s not about what you can do for them, Eliot. It’s about who you are, and they seem to like you just fine. Just some food for thought.” He grinned. “I’m just glad you have more than just me to spend the holidays with, it was getting a little sad.”

Eliot snorted in response. “Yeah, yeah. That’s enough of that. Whaddya say we drink this beer you brought and order some food?”

Toby grabbed a bottle and raised it in mock-toast. “Sounds good to me, man. Sounds good to me.”

~

After Toby had left and Eliot had gone to bed, he found himself tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. It reminded him of when he was a kid, the anticipation of Christmas morning making him jittery with excitement. Except now those jitters were mostly nerves, and instead of anticipation all Eliot felt was resigned apprehension. 

The only thing that was easing his mind was the fact that, thanks to all the time they’d spent together, they wouldn’t have to manufacture every detail of their relationship. They could call all their dinners and outings ‘dates’ and embellish a little, and it would probably hold up to scrutiny - maybe not Nana’s, but Eliot resolved not to think too much about that. 

Eliot’s last conscious thought before he finally drifted off was the fervent, honest hope that Hardison and Parker would like their gifts, and that they’d gift him with those sweet, bright smiles of theirs in return...

~

Despite his difficulty falling asleep the night before, Eliot woke up on Christmas morning feeling refreshed and resolved. Like Thanksgiving, Christmas wasn’t a holiday that Eliot had gotten to spend with family in a woefully long time and he was determined to make the most of it - for his own sake as well as Hardison and Parker’s. 

Eliot didn’t bother to get dressed, making his way to the kitchen in his flannel pajamas (and fuzzy penguin slippers - his secret). Hardison hadn’t asked him to make anything, but Eliot would be damned if he didn’t bring something to dinner. Besides, he figured it might draw attention away from any inconsistencies in the trio’s relationship if Eliot could impress Hardison’s relatives with his cooking skills once again. 

By noon, Eliot had managed to make himself breakfast (and, later, lunch), cook not one, but two side dishes, and bake a truly magnificent apple galette. He was sweating slightly and his chest and arms were lightly dusted with flour, which he brushed away absentmindedly as he wandered over to the couch for a much-needed break. For the most part, Eliot had a strict rule about not cooking without a shirt on, but he’d broken it just this once - the galette had been finicky and he hadn’t wanted to get his freshly washed pajama shirt dirty, so he’d tossed it haphazardly towards the living room. 

Eliot still hadn’t remembered to put his shirt back on (or take his slippers off) when the doorbell rang some time later, rousing him from a well-deserved nap on his very comfortable couch. He padded over to the door, drowsy and unguarded, and smiled a little when he opened it to find himself face to face with Hardison and Parker. They must be here to pick him up, though it seemed a little early.

Eliot’s smile slowly faded as the two of them didn’t greet him with their usual enthusiasm and instead just...stared.

“What’s wrong with y- ” He froze, a chill running through him (both literally and figuratively) as he slowly looked down, mortified to find himself still shirtless. In front of the people he’d only just realized he maybe kinda sorta had a massive crush on. Shit.

Hardison had startled a little at the sound of Eliot’s voice, and it seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he’d entered. “Uh, nothing, man, just, um, we called you and you didn’t answer but we still need to talk strategy and stuff so we figured we’d just come over,” he managed to stutter out, his voice cracking once or twice. 

Parker just kept staring, decorum be damned. Eliot frowned and waved a hand in front of her face. “Earth to Parker, hello,” he said, exasperation leaching into his tone. 

Parker finally met his eyes and shot him a megawatt grin. “Hi!” she chirped. Then, after a moment’s consideration, “Those really are some impressive scars. And I like your slippers!”

Eliot did a double-take, then blushed scarlet. Parker’s eyes followed the flush down his chest, lingering somewhere near his sternum. He cursed the involuntary reaction and scowled at her, but she seemed undeterred. Having no response to her rather forthright (and somewhat insensitive) comment, Eliot just huffed, rolled his eyes, and gestured for them to come in. He could hear them whispering as he followed them into the house, but couldn’t quite make out the words. If Eliot had to guess, Hardison was probably scolding Parker for her bluntness. His suspicions were confirmed as they entered the living room and Parker turned around to face him, her delicate features pinched and her face looking paler than usual. “Sorry for mentioning your scars, I didn’t think. They’re just cool looking,” she said softly, sounding genuinely contrite for once. Eliot just shrugged, already past it - apparently he was incapable of staying mad at Parker for more than about ten seconds. “I don’t really mind as long as you don’t ask me how I got ‘em. My fault for forgettin’ to put my shirt back on, anyways.”

Parker’s face brightened, perking up immediately. “Oh, that reminds me! I’ll be right back.” She all but sprinted out to the car, leaving Eliot and Hardison alone for the first time since they’d met.

Hardison chuckled nervously, his eyes darting around the room as he tried to avoid staring again. They finally landed on Eliot’s discarded shirt, which he grabbed and shoved in Eliot’s direction. “Oh, look, I found your shirt, how about that!” He squeaked.

Eliot took the article of clothing in question, amused by Hardison’s reaction - the other man could be so awkward sometimes. 

(Definitely not another endearing trait to add to the list he definitely didn’t have, nope.)

He shrugged the shirt back on and by the time it was buttoned the tension in the room had settled into something more relaxed and familiar. Thank god.

“So...why was your shirt off, exactly?” Hardison asked, finally breaking the still somewhat tense silence.

Eliot could feel his face breaking into a proud smile but he couldn’t find the will or energy to care. “Well...I may have spent all morning cooking so that I could distract your family from our relationship with my amazing food.” 

Hardison’s eyes lit up, practically twinkling with excitement. Stupid beautiful man and his stupid beautiful Disney eyes. “Man, are you forreal? That’s the best news I’ve heard all day!”

Eliot snorted. “Glad you’re pleased, although dependin’ on what time it is that might not be that much of a compliment,” he teased, shooting Hardison a smirk.

“Oh, can it, you. Best news all week then, how ‘bout that?” Hardison grinned, rolling his eyes fondly.

Eliot tilted his head in acknowledgement. “That’s more like it. Speaking of, what time even is it? I didn’t have time to check before I came to the door.”

Hardison quickly checked his phone. “It’s just past three - we have to be at Nana’s no later than five so I figured that gives us plenty of time.”

“Plenty of time for...what, exactly?” Eliot asked slowly. Hardison and Parker having mystery plans for him was always just ever so slightly terrifying.

Hardison gave him a pointed look. “If you ever answered your phone, you’d know. I wanted to talk about our plan for dinner and how we’re gonna continue to make my family believe you’re our boyfriend.”

Eliot frowned, barely restraining himself from full-on pouting. “I earned that nap, man. I made y’all two side dishes plus an apple tart…” he trailed off sulkily, crossing his arms and huffing a sigh.

Hardison blinked, then breathed out a soft laugh. He met Eliot’s gaze, his eyes shining in that ridiculously warm way of his. “You didn’t need to bring anything but your fine self, man. But thank you, I’m sure everything’ll be delicious.”

Eliot had to fight the rising tide of warmth that swelled in his chest, as it always did when Hardison expressed the faith he had in him. It was nice to be trusted. The ‘fine self’ comment was also...interesting, but Eliot pushed it aside. Friends could compliment each other’s appearances without it being weird, right? Just guys being dudes, like Hardison had said before. 

Eliot shook his head a little and uncrossed his arms. As he was about to start telling Hardison what he’d made, Parker barrelled back into the room clutching something red and fuzzy to her chest. 

Hardison grinned slyly. “Finally, girl, took you long enough!” 

Parker just shrugged and walked over to Eliot. He quirked an eyebrow as she shoved the bundle towards him, accepting it hesitantly. After some maneuvering, Eliot found himself holding up the ugliest Christmas sweater he had ever seen.

“Uh...thank you…?” Eliot said, bewildered. Did they expect him to wear this? 

Parker just beamed. “Me and Hardison thought it would be fun to all wear matching sweaters! I also wanted to get us elf ear headbands, but Hardison said no,” she said, pouting a little. Hardison just snorted and shook his head at his girlfriend. “None of those things matched my skin tone. And girl, you _know_ I ain’t about that nonsense.” 

Eliot just watched the two of them fondly as they bickered for a minute before turning their attention back to him. 

“Well, are you gonna wear it or not?” Parker asked, her tone carrying an edge of pleading.

Eliot considered the monstrosity in his arms. It was a bright, garish red with an overly complicated-looking Fairisle pattern on the sleeves and a giant Christmas tree emblazoned on the chest that featured honest-to-god tinsel and what Eliot assumed were working lights. 

It was, in a word, horrendous. 

...Eliot kind of loved it. 

Not that he’d ever admit it, but there was something charming about its hideousness, and it was so over-the-top festive that he couldn’t help but enjoy looking at it. Plus, there was something appealing about the idea of the three of them all wearing the same thing. Not for the first time, Eliot felt a distant sense of possessiveness over Hardison and Parker. They were his, to protect and care for and help whenever they needed him, even if it just meant wearing a dumb sweater to make them happy.

God, he was a sap.

Oh well.

Eliot had to fight a smile as he gave Parker a decisive nod. “I’ll wear it. Might be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, but I see no harm in it if that’s what you want.” 

Parker just about shrieked with glee, practically jumping up and down with excitement. Hardison grinned and leaned forward to nudge Eliot’s arm. “Aw, man, I thought for sure you’d say no. Now I owe Parker twenty bucks,” he said teasingly. Eliot just rolled his eyes and smirked back.

“I guess I’d better go put this on then, and finish gettin’ ready. Y’all can make yourselves comfortable, I’ll be down in a few.”

When Eliot returned, Parker and Hardison were sitting on ‘their’ loveseat, seemingly involved in a very serious conversation. Their muttering ended abruptly as he cleared his throat and held his arms out for them to see.

“Well, whadda y’all think?” Eliot asked, somewhat nervous under their scrutiny. He did a slow turn for them anyways, feeling slightly ridiculous but wanting them to be pleased nonetheless.

Parker’s eyes shone as she looked him up and down, clapping her hands together delightedly as he finished his spin. “I love it! It’s perfect, I knew it would be!”

Hardison gave Eliot the same up and down look that Parker had, then snorted. “I just hope I can pull mine off that well, damn. Thanks for humoring her, we’re gonna look great together,” he said appreciatively, his smile soft and fond.

Eliot’s eyes crinkled with pleasure at the sentiment. The three of them did look good together, even in terrible matching sweaters. Maybe especially in terrible matching sweaters - though he’d have to see Hardison and Parker wearing theirs to confirm.

“So, is now the time where we sit down and strategize, figure out how to fake it til we make it at this party?” he asked, coming to join them in the living room. 

Hardison and Parker exchanged a somewhat nervous glance between themselves. Uh oh.

Given that an explanation was required, it was unsurprising that Hardison was the one to speak up. “Well, actually...we had some gifts to give you first? We weren’t sure if you’d want to open them in front of my family - “ Hardison’s eyes widened and he stuttered before getting back on track - “not that there’s anything weird, I just thought it might be a little overwhelming and that you’d be more comfortable opening them here with just us. But it’s really up to you,” he finished lamely, looking slightly abashed. Parker just gave Eliot a questioning look that seemed to urge him to answer quickly so as to put Hardison out of his misery. 

In all honesty, Eliot was rather gobsmacked. Somehow, despite his own near-panic at making sure he’d gotten his friends suitable presents, he hadn’t considered that they may have done the same for him. It really had been far too long since he’d been a part of anything resembling a family. It filled him with a warmth that tugged at his heartstrings and filled his eyes with unbidden tears. He blinked them away as inconspicuously as he could and cleared his throat.

“I, uh...sure? That, uh. That sounds...nice. Yeah, why not.” Eliot managed, his voice even gruffer than usual. Hardison met his eyes with an expression of happiness and something Eliot didn’t care to name. Parker took that as her cue to spring up out of her seat next to Hardison and once again make a mad dash for the car, giggling excitedly as she went. Crazy girl.

In an attempt to prevent the two of them from having another awkward (significant?) moment, Eliot looked down at his sweater and chuckled a little. “Now that she’s gone, be honest. Just how ridiculous do I actually look in this damn thing?”

Hardison grinned. “You look downright foolish, man. But like I said, you make it work somehow.” 

Figures he’d turn it into a compliment. 

“Can’t imagine I do, but thanks anyways. At least you ‘n’ Parker’ll look just as stupid.” Eliot shook his head fondly. “Festive, but stupid.”

Hardison just smiled wider. “Oh we’re gonna look dumb as hell, but you can bet your ass I’m gonna enjoy every minute of it. And besides, it’s a small price to pay to make my girl happy.”

Eliot’s traitor brain corrected the statement to ‘our girl’, but he brushed it aside as quickly as it came. “She’s lucky to have you, man.”

Parker once again interrupted as she zoomed back into the living room, holding two gift bags. She plopped herself back into the loveseat and shoved the bags in Eliot’s direction impatiently, cheeks flushed - probably from her mad dash to the car and back, although it could have been from excitement, or the cold. 

“Open mine first! It’s the one with all the glitter!” she said breathlessly, eyes shining. 

In that moment, she could have asked for the moon and Eliot would have done his best to give it to her. As it was, he settled for nodding and chuckling a bit, putting the other bag on the couch next to him.

The first thing he pulled out was the card. It read: ‘Dear Eliot, thank you for coming to Thanksgiving and Christmas at Hardison’s with us. You’re a lot of fun to hang out with and I like that you pretend to be grumpy but secretly enjoy spending time with us. Your cooking is really good and I hope I get to try more of it. Merry Christmas. -Parker’. 

Eliot may as well have been the Grinch, because he could swear his heart grew three sizes from reading Parker’s letter. It was so...her. Short, sweet, and to the point, and utterly guileless besides. He looked up at her expectant face and offered a small, but completely genuine smile, murmuring a soft “thank you, Parker”. She returned it with a radiant one of her own and nodded. 

“You’re very welcome, now open your present!” She made a slightly frantic gesture for him to continue, prompting Eliot to chuckle as he set the card aside and extricated the package from the tissue paper surrounding it. The gift wrap was haphazard, which shouldn’t have been so endearing but the mental image of Parker trying to wrap a gift was just too cute. Eliot unwrapped the object gingerly and found himself holding a beautiful glass ornament. It was a pretzel, beautifully metallic and shining, with sparkling little salt crystals. 

Eliot loved it. “Wow, Parker, this is really pretty. And thoughtful, since I had that pretzel at the football game. It’ll be a nice reminder, thank you. I’ll go put it on the tree right now.” Eliot got up and did exactly that, missing the significant look Hardison and Parker shared behind his back.

The pretzel fit in perfectly with Eliot’s other ornaments, which already had a bit of a food theme to them. It was odd that Parker had wanted to commemorate a concession stand pretzel, but sweet of her to notice his other food-based ornaments in the several times they’d visited since he’d put up his tree. Or at least that was his assumption - it was practically impossible to tell what was going through Parker’s head at any given moment.

Hardison’s present was next. The bag was printed with gingerbread people, and also contained a card. His read: ‘Dear Eliot, I’m so damn glad I replied to your Thanksgiving ad, and that you chose my response. I know that me and Parker have been a lot to handle, but I appreciate you sticking with us. Getting to know you this past month has been a hell of a lot of fun. You make us better, and I’m thankful that you’ve become a part of our life. Merry Christmas. -Hardison’.

Eliot had expected Hardison’s card to be more eloquent than Parker’s given his tendency to emote more (as opposed to Parker’s no-nonsense approach), but he hadn't been fully prepared for the emotions that flooded him as he processed what he'd just read. His eyes traced over the words Hardison had written, rereading the letter until the words started to blur together. It was incredibly sweet, and just as genuine as Parker’s, but also filled with sentiments Eliot didn’t know he needed to be told until he’d read them. 

He looked up at Hardison, his eyes shining with (thankfully) unshed tears. “Thank you, man. Really. I’m so glad y’all crashed into my life the way you did,” he managed to choke out. 

Hardison beamed. “Hey, it’s no problem man. You’re family now, no take-backs.” 

Parker nodded vigorously in agreement, though her voice came out more softly than expected when she spoke. “You’re our Eliot.”

At that simple but achingly honest pronouncement, Eliot very nearly did burst into tears. 

Thankfully, Hardison piped up before he had the chance to completely humiliate himself in front of them both. “You still gotta open my present, El,” he said eagerly, gesturing to the gift bag Eliot was still clutching.

The nickname didn’t even register as Eliot took a deep breath and nodded, gently putting the card aside and pulling a box out of the bag. As he tore the (much more neatly wrapped) paper off of the box, Eliot couldn’t help but let out an audible gasp. In front of him was the loveliest set of knives Eliot had ever seen. They looked to be of Japanese make; lightweight and thin with Damascus steel blades and beautiful handles made of what looked to be a combination of wood and electric blue resin. Eliot stared at them in utter shock for a few moments before looking up at Hardison, who looked rather pleased with himself.

“What - I - these must have cost you a damn fortune, man!” Eliot said incredulously. He looked back down at the knives in awe. There were five in total, and if Eliot knew his stuff - which he did - that meant at least $500 worth of equipment. 

“I...don’t know if I can accept these,” Eliot said slowly. “Not that I don’t love ‘em but…” He trailed off uncertainly, eyes flickering between Hardison and the wildly expensive box of knives in his lap.

Hardison just waved him off with a cocky grin. “Nah, man, I knew exactly what I was doing and I’d do it again. You’re more than worth it. And besides,” he said cheekily, “there was no spending limit.”

Eliot looked up, his expression a mix of awe and horror as he muttered a faint “dammit, Hardison”. Parker leaned in and faux-whispered, “Last time I didn’t give him a spending limit he bought me a motorcycle. It’s best that you learn now rather than later.”

Eliot huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “I guess so, huh.” After some consideration he finally opened the box and took out one of the knives, hefting its weight in his hand. He looked up at Hardison, who looked infuriatingly smug. “Just this one time, man, but next year this ain’t gonna fly.”

Hardison just looked even more pleased. “Good to know you’re planning on sticking around until then,” he said softly, his demeanor shifting into something far too cozy for Eliot’s emotionally shell-shocked brain to handle. 

Eliot sputtered a little and then sighed, which turned into a fondly resigned chuckle. “Alright, you got me. And thank you, these are probably the nicest things I own now.” He paused, then shot Parker a wink. “With the exception of that pretty little pretzel ornament, that is.”

Parker giggled, her nose scrunching up as she nudged Hardison’s shoulder and fistpumped victoriously, prompting him to roll his eyes at her. Eliot just looked on with a wistful sort of happiness. He loved them, he really did. 

Oh boy.

~

After carefully arranging the cards on his mantle and putting his new knives away in his kitchen (with a great deal of incredulous head-shaking), Eliot excused himself so that he could grab Hardison and Parker’s gifts from his room. When he came back downstairs, he took a minute to appreciate the scene in front of him: his two best friends curled up together in front of his Christmas tree, talking softly as Parker leaned her head against Hardison’s chest and he gently rubbed her arm.

It was a sight Eliot wanted imprinted into his memory for the rest of his life. 

They looked up in unison as he approached, looking somewhat surprised to see the bags he was holding.

Eliot snorted at their expressions. “What, y’all didn’t think I’d get you gifts too? I know I don’t talk a whole lot about my feelings but y’all are important to me too y’know.”

Without a word, Parker got up from the loveseat and came nose-to-nose with Eliot before grabbing him in a surprisingly tight hug. Careful not to jostle her or the bags too much, Eliot slowly returned the hug, catching Hardison’s eye behind Parker’s back and feeling relieved when Hardison just shrugged and smiled. That was Parker for you. 

Eliot could feel Parker rub her cheek against his sweater as she turned her face towards his, whispering in his ear. “We love you too, El.”

She pulled away so abruptly that Eliot half-wondered if he’d imagined it, but her cheeks were flushed and rosy and as she turned back around she returned his wink from earlier. 

...Huh. 

Feeling somewhat confused and a lot overwhelmed, Eliot decided to ignore it, plopping back down in his chair and handing over Parker’s bag first. It had sparkly red reindeer on it, and Parker squealed when she saw the pattern. Eliot chuckled fondly at her sheer enthusiasm. “Wait til you see what’s inside.”

Unsurprisingly, Parker tore through the tissue and wrapping paper like the Tasmanian devil, flinging it haphazardly across the room in her excitement to open the carefully wrapped box inside the bag. She frowned a little when the paper had been torn away to reveal a rather nondescript brown box with no distinguishing details. She looked up to shoot Eliot a quizzical glance but he just quirked a half-smile and gestured for her to open the box. 

As she lifted the lid to reveal its contents, Parker let out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a squeal. 

Nestled inside the box were two dozen truffles, their surfaces shimmering as the light caught the silver luster dust they’d been sprinkled with. 

Parker’s hands twitched and she shot Eliot a desperate look, clearly torn between letting Eliot explain the gift and wanting to shove the chocolate into her mouth as quickly as possible. He took mercy on her after a couple seconds, chuckling at her expression. “I had a little bit of trouble trying to come up with something you’d like, but then I remembered that cocktail I made you when y’all came to the bar I work at. It seemed like you really liked it, so I had a pastry chef friend of mine make you some truffles based on that cocktail. They do have vodka in ‘em, so I wouldn’t recommend eatin’ them all at once, but I hope they’re to your taste.” Eliot smiled softly and gestured for her to try one. “Go ahead, see what you think.”

As Eliot talked, Parker’s expression had softened into something less manic, instead looking utterly charmed. “That’s such a good idea, thanks Eliot!” She exclaimed happily once he’d finished. “They’re so pretty, I bet they taste amazing.”

Eliot watched on with bated breath as she delicately popped a truffle into her mouth. Just as he was starting to worry that maybe they hadn’t turned out like he’d hoped, Parker’s eyes fluttered shut and she moaned softly. Eliot was mesmerized as her tongue flicked out to catch a crumb of chocolate and she made another appreciative noise at the taste. He felt like he was in a dream as she slowly opened her eyes and captured his gaze with her own, the weight of her sultry stare pinning him in place. 

It took Hardison chuckling to clear Eliot’s head, coming out of the trancelike state to find himself flushed and regretting his choice to put on such a heavy sweater. Had the room gotten hotter or was it just him? God, Hardison was probably freaked out by whatever had just happened between him and - huh. Hardison looked kind of flustered himself. And he had laughed, so maybe he just thought it was funny and over-the-top, just Parker being Parker. 

Eliot sure hoped so. 

“That good, huh?” Hardison teased, turning to Parker and nudging her gently. 

Parker seemed to be half-entranced herself, her eyes sparkling and her chocolate-smudged lips upturned in a soft, contented smile. At Hardison’s query she just nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving Eliot’s flushed face. 

Jesus Christ.

Eliot desperately wracked his brains for something to dissipate the moment and began talking very quickly and a little too loud - pulling a bit of a Hardison, he realized to his horror. “I hope you don’t mind that they won’t last forever, I mean, I could always get you more but I was havin’ a hard time figuring’ out what to get you and I know how much you love sweets and I remembered how much you seemed to like that cocktail I made you and I figured that was better than just getting you a giftcard cause my mama always told me it wasn’t polite to give people you care about money and -”

Thankfully, Eliot’s slightly panicked rambling was cut off by the sweet, clarion sound of Parker giggling, increasing in volume until she was gasping for air between guffaws and the occasional snort (which was just unfairly adorable). “Eliot, slow down! I love them, they’re delicious. And you don’t need to worry about next time, I usually give Hardison a list to help him out so I’ll just do the same for you!” She grinned brightly, all traces of the earlier mood replaced by genuine, innocent mirth. Eliot was once again reminded of how beautiful she was, especially when she smiled. He smiled back and nodded. “That sounds good. I’m really glad you like ‘em though, I was hopin’ they’d turned out well.” 

With one final fond nod in Parker’s direction, Eliot turned his attention towards Hardison and gave the other man a wry smile. “I doubt your gift’ll cause that kind of a reaction, but I hope you like it nonetheless,” Eliot said, handing Hardison a green bag patterned with snowflakes. 

Hardison just shrugged and grinned. “I’m gonna guess that means there’s nothing sweet in here or else I can make no guarantees.”

Eliot just rolled his eyes fondly and waited for Hardison to unwrap his gifts. 

The first thing he pulled out of the bag was the little flash drive, his eyes widening as he gingerly extricated it from its tissue paper prison. “Oh man, this is too cute! I love BB-8, how’d you know?” Hardison exclaimed, turning the droid-shaped USB over in his hands. Eliot let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and smirked. “I do pay some attention to all those nerd rambles of yours y’know. I’m just glad I remembered right cause I nearly went ‘n’ bought you somethin’ Star Trek related.”

Hardison snorted at that. “Star Trek’s fine and all but Star Wars is where it’s at.” He dove back into the bag eagerly and pulled out the mug. “And my man R2! All about the droids, huh?” Hardison grinned as he inspected the mug. Eliot nodded. “Once I saw the labels I recognized some names so I figured they’d be a safe bet. Now you have somethin’ to drink all that orange sludge out of,” he said teasingly. Hardison (ever the dramatic one of the three) schooled his features, put his hand over his heart, and solemnly promised to do exactly that.

After a beat, the three of them burst out laughing.

“Forreal though man, I love the things you got me. Definitely gonna use them all the time,” Hardison said warmly, still chuckling. Eliot nodded, quirking a half-smile. “Glad to hear it, man.”

A comfortable silence fell over the room, and Eliot was about to ask about their plans when the cards on his mantle caught his eye. “Shoot, I almost forgot -,” Eliot rose quickly from his chair and hurried towards the stairs, taking them two at a time as Hardison and Parker stared, puzzled, at his back. Less than a minute later he re-emerged into the living room holding two envelopes.

“I’d meant to put these in y’all’s bags but it slipped my mind til just now. Here y’ go,” he said gruffly, handing each of his friends their respective cards. “I know I’m not much one for sentimentality but, well. Just read ‘em.”

Parker opened her card far more delicately than she had her gift, and Eliot could see her mouthing the words he’d practically memorized by now: ‘Dear Parker, meeting you was a surprise but it was one of the best surprises I’ve had in a long time. Being around you is always a little surprising but always in a good way. Thank you for spending so much time with me and for being my friend. -Eliot’. When she was done reading, Parker looked up at Eliot with - much to his shock - tears in her eyes. “Thanks, El,” she said softly. Eliot smiled just as softly at her in response. “Merry Christmas, Parker.”

Hardison, meanwhile, was actively leaking tears after having read his card. His, Eliot remembered, read: ‘Dear Hardison, a year ago I never could have imagined that I’d get to spend Christmas with anyone but myself, let alone a real family. It means the world that you’ve given that back to me, and I’m grateful to have someone like you in my life. Having the both of you around has been really good for me and more than that, I enjoy your company more than I can properly express. Thank you for everything. -Eliot’. 

“Man, what happened to ‘not being one for sentimentality’, huh? I need a damn hug,” Hardison sniffed, standing and motioning for Eliot to come hug him. Eliot made a show of rolling his eyes but he was more than happy to oblige, standing up and folding his arms gently around the other man’s waist. Unsurprisingly, Parker hopped up and joined them a few seconds later, her sweet vanilla perfume mingling with Hardison’s spicy-smelling cologne. Together, they smelled like gingerbread and home. 

After a slightly-too-long but unfairly comforting hug, Eliot grudgingly extricated himself from the cozy embrace and smiled at the two of them. “I’m glad y’all liked your presents, I really am. But we should probably get to figurin’ out a plan of attack, cause -” Eliot was cut off by an alarmed squawking noise, which had somehow come from Hardison, who’d apparently decided to check the time while Eliot was talking. “Aw crap, it’s already quarter past four. If we don’t leave soon we’ll be late and much as I love her I am far too terrified of that woman not to be on time.” 

Eliot snorted. “I was just about to say it was probably time to get goin’. If y’all want to help me grab the food we can be off.”

Quietly and efficiently, Eliot and Hardison worked to pack up the galette and Eliot’s surprise side dishes while Parker took her and Hardison’s gifts out to the car. By the time they’d locked up and gotten outside, she’d managed to not only start the car, but also to move to sit in the passenger seat, tune the radio to a Christmas station, and draw little snowflakes in the condensation her breath had made on the window. Eliot smiled as he walked towards the car and slid into the backseat carefully, making sure not to jostle his precious cargo. 

Once Eliot had settled himself behind the driver’s seat, he realized that Parker had also somehow had time to put on her own hideous matching sweater. 

As Eliot had surmised, the lights on the tree were, in fact, functional, and the whole front seat was illuminated in a soft multicolored glow. Parker’s eyes were shining as she turned back to face him, and Eliot just about melted at the sheer childlike wonder on her face. “Look, El! The lights work!” She exclaimed excitedly. Eliot smiled and nodded, happy for her happiness. “I can see that, sweetheart.”

Before either of them could register the pet name that had just slipped out of Eliot’s mouth, Hardison got into the driver’s seat, startling both of them. He handed the last of the tupperware containers over to Parker to give to Eliot, who snatched it up rather abruptly. Hardison, oblivious, started the car and began driving. “I guess we’ll have to use this time to figure out a plan, huh?” He asked somewhat hesitantly. There was a brief silence as they all contemplated having to pull one over on Nana. 

This was not gonna be easy.

~

By the time they reached the house, Hardison, Parker, and Eliot had come up with approximately ten billion bad ideas on how to maintain the legitimacy of their fake relationship and three slightly less terrible ones. Basically, they’d agreed that it was generally best to be as truthful as possible so as not to invite suspicion. They’d also decided (at Eliot’s suggestion) to pretend that all their dinners and excursions together had been dates, and, (at Hardison’s suggestion) to subtly dial up the casual affection between the three of them.

(Parker’s suggestions had all involved elaborate lies and over-the-top PDA and were thus vetoed immediately.)

As before, they lingered in Nana’s driveway. They left it to the last minute, taking time to prepare themselves to face a hundred and one Hardisons including, of course, Nana herself. This preparation included Eliot almost dropping his precious galette and his subsequent near-heart attack, Parker having to be dragged away from where she stood, mesmerized, by the neighbors' truly magnificent Christmas lights, and Hardison nearly falling on his ass in his hurry to open the trunk so he could wiggle into his Christmas sweater (and turn on its built-in lights) before they were officially late.

Once they actually entered the house, Eliot could feel some of the tension fade away. It felt oddly familiar despite only having been there once before, and comfortable in a way he didn’t fully understand. The whole house smelled of mulled wine and roasting meat - Eliot guessed ham, but knowing this family there could be any number of mouthwatering dishes simmering away out of sight. He just hoped that the food he’d made would complement the existing side dishes well. 

Hardison and Parker followed him as he headed towards the kitchen to deposit his offerings, Hardison having taken the remaining container so Eliot wouldn’t accidentally drop anything (again).

To both his delight and dismay, Eliot hadn’t gotten more than a couple feet towards the kitchen before Nana was making a beeline for them, grinning widely as she saw the cake box and casserole dish Eliot was cradling in his arms. “There’s my sweet loves! Alec, come on over here and help Eliot find somewhere to put these, will you? And Parker, it’s good to see you sugar, come here and give me a hug.”

Eliot and Hardison dutifully found an available section of counter space to unload their dishes onto while Parker bounded forward, squealing happily as she hugged Nana and nearly bowling the shorter woman over in her excitement. “It’s good to see you too, Merry Christmas!” she exclaimed.

Nana just smiled warmly at her and gestured for Eliot and Hardison to join them so that the three of them stood side-by-side facing her with Hardison in the middle, arms loosely resting across Eliot and Parker’s shoulders.

“Let me look at you, hmm? Gosh, aren’t you three just the cutest things I’ve ever seen with those matching sweaters!” She shot Parker a knowing look. “Let me guess, this was your idea?”

Parker nodded and grinned. “You bet! I wasn’t sure if Eliot was gonna agree to wear his but he did and now we’re all nice and festive!”

Eliot rolled his eyes. “As if I could ever say no to that pout,” he grumbled jokingly, unable to stop himself from immediately shooting Parker a fond smile. She stuck her tongue out at him playfully in response, to which Hardison just shook his head and grinned at Nana. She chuckled at their antics and Hardison squeezed both Parker’s and Eliot’s shoulders to get their attention, then let go so he could look directly at Eliot. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’re all very cute but Eliot never actually told us what all he made and I am dying to know,” he said teasingly, turning to look at Eliot. Nana’s eyes brightened at the prospect. “I’d love to know what you made too, Eliot. Care to share?”

Though he’d agreed to some casual affection for appearances’ sake, Eliot was starting to get rather flustered and was relieved for the opportunity to talk about something he was more comfortable with.

“Yes ma’am, uh, Nana. I wanted to bring some dishes that I remember eatin’ during holidays as a kid but with a bit of a twist, so I made a tray of butternut squash mac ‘n’ cheese, which has some sage and nutmeg in it, and then I also made a side of green bean amandine with some lemon and garlic and, of course, almonds. And then for dessert I made an apple galette with a cinnamon-caramel drizzle.” Eliot recited dutifully. 

There was a pause as three pairs of eyes stared at him in various states of disbelief. Nana spoke first, her eyes twinkling as she regarded him with approval. “Those sound like they’ll fit in perfectly with the rest of the spread, thank you. I’ll save you three some of that galette, alright?”

Before Eliot could so much as say ‘sounds good’, someone called for Nana from the living room, and she darted away with a smile and a wink.

Parker and Hardison, meanwhile, still looked a little shocked. Hardison let out an incredulous whistle and patted Eliot on the back. “I know you’re a professional chef but man, that sounds really impressive and crazy delicious.” 

Eliot was about to wave him off but Parker nodded slowly in agreement, and then, out of nowhere, whispered, “One time I tried to make tea for Sophie and I burned it.” 

Eliot just gawked at her, then barked out a surprised laugh. “You didn’t. How?!”

~

Christmas dinner proceeded much like Thanksgiving dinner had; some small talk as the food all came together, a rather harried rush to the table once it was set, and the consumption of a truly ridiculous amount of food. This time around there were honey-roasted hams instead of turkeys, shrimp and grits with festive red and green bell peppers, blackened catfish, and, of course, baskets upon baskets filled with cornbread (to name a few). Eliot also got several compliments on his dishes, which he humbly accepted with no small amount of pleasure. He really did love it when people enjoyed his food, and somehow the praise meant more coming from Hardison’s family. His heart ached a little at the sheer acceptance and warmth he was surrounded by, and he allowed himself a moment to imagine how wonderful it would feel to really be here as Hardison’s boyfriend, for their charade to be reality.

It was his little gift to himself, it being Christmas and all. 

(He just hoped nobody noticed the longing on his face every time Hardison or Parker held his hand on top of the table or leaned their heads on his shoulders or, well, existed in his general vicinity. He was _so_ gone for them, he really was.)

After everyone had eaten their fill, plates and dishes were cleared away to make room for dessert. Besides Eliot’s apple galette, there were about twenty different types of cookies, a pecan pie, a bread pudding made using cornbread, several cakes with either rum, bourbon, or whiskey in them - even a Bûche de Noël, to Parker’s delight. As usual, Hardison and Parker were particularly...appreciative of the sweeter offerings, and were especially excited to try Eliot’s galette. They both pronounced it ‘the best apple dessert they’d ever had’, which had Eliot blushing and fidgeting as he fought not to preen at the compliment. 

As everyone finished up their dessert, people began to migrate into the living room, forming little groups and chatting. Eliot trailed after Hardison and Parker, but decided to hang back and simply observe.

~

Eliot had known from the start that he was going to have to face the music sooner or later - it just happened sooner than he'd expected.

He’d been leaning up against the doorway to the living room, watching Hardison entertain some of his nieces and nephews while Parker sat next to him eating yet another slice of cake. His stomach was full, his guard was down, and he knew he was probably projecting all kinds of longing right now, but he was too damn content to care. He’d only been stood there a few minutes when Nana sidled up next to him, surveying her family as she struck up a not-entirely-unexpected conversation. He’d caught her watching him a handful of times, and he figured he was lucky it had taken this long for her to approach him.

“Alec’s been telling me more about this polyamory thing you all have got goin’ on," she started. "He says you’re exclusive with each other, that right?” 

Eliot wondered where she was going with this, and nodded hesitantly. “Yes ma’am.”

“And you’re all equally involved with each other?” 

Another nod.

Nana gave him a searching look that reminded him of Hardison. Must be where he got it from. “Then why are you standing over here all by your lonesome?”

Eliot ducked his head. “I suppose I just feel out of place is all. Y’all have been nothin’ but welcoming 'n' generous to me, but…” he trailed off, then shook himself a little and continued, trying to tell as much of the truth as he could without giving everything away. 

(That’s what they’d agreed on, after all.)

“It’s been a while since I was really a part of a family, for one. And with Alec and Parker already having been together for a while when I agreed to join them, I suppose a part of me feels like I’m intrudin’.”

Nana considered him for a long moment, and he could see her putting all the puzzle pieces together in her head. He wasn’t all that surprised when she asked, “You’re not actually their boyfriend, are you?”

The charade was finally up. 

Eliot looked down at his feet and shook his head, his voice taking on a wistful quality as he began to explain the story. “I posted a Craigslist ad, back in November, offerin’ to be someone’s platonic date to Thanksgiving. I figured I'd get to eat some good food, maybe help someone cope with some family drama. And...I hadn’t had a holiday meal with a real family since before I joined the service, so I figured it’d be nice.” At this, Nana put an encouraging hand on Eliot’s arm. He smiled at the gesture and pressed on, the warmth of her hand grounding him. “I got a few responses, but somethin’ about Alec’s message resonated with me. All he wanted was a chance to come out to you, and he figured that some kinda proof of his orientation would help things along. I never got to come out to my own family and he seemed like he needed me the most, so I chose him.” Eliot chuckled a little. “I didn’t know Parker was gonna be a part of it ‘til she showed up in my kitchen, tryna sneak a slice off my clementine cake.”

Nana giggled a little, her eyes drifting across the room until her gaze landed on Parker. “God love that girl, but she can be a handful,” she said, tone full of affection and gentle mirth. 

Eliot huffed out an amused laugh of his own. “Tell me about it. Anyways, after she nearly gave me a heart attack Alec explained the poly thing. He hadn’t known how to tell me about it, so I guess he just hedged his bets and hoped I’d be fine with it. And I was - am - though a fair warnin’ woulda been nice.” Nana chuckled and squeezed Eliot’s arm where her hand still rested, a comforting weight. “I almost didn’t come to Christmas cause I hated the idea of carryin’ on with a lie - I hated feelin’ like I was deceivin’ you and your family. Y’all’re good people, and I’d hate to hurt any of you. But I was selfish, and I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed bein’ around a family til I came here for Thanksgiving.”

Eliot paused for a moment to look around at all the people still milling about, talking and laughing and teasing each other. It was everything he hadn’t known he’d been missing for the last twelve years.

Nana just stood there next to him patiently, waiting for him to continue. 

“And if that wasn't incentive enough, Alec and Parker practically begged me to come with them and honestly? I don’t know if I’d’ve been able to live with myself if I'd said no. Those pouts of theirs are damn-near deadly.” Eliot muttered, shaking his head and chuckling softly.

Nana just smiled, and they stood together in comfortable silence for a few minutes until she spoke up again, so softly that Eliot almost didn’t hear her.

“So when did you realize you had feelings for them?”

Eliot smiled wryly and huffed out a self-deprecating laugh. “Only a few days ago. How’d you know?”

Nana gave him a look. “Pining ain’t just for the trees, baby. Besides, I have eyes. And ears.”

Eliot snorted. “I suppose that’s fair enough. I’d hoped I wasn’t bein’ too obvious but I guess I can’t help myself when it comes to those two.” He paused, then said, “Y’know, it was kinda because of you that I realized I had feelings for ‘em in the first place.”

She turned to him with a bright, mischievous smile. “Oh really now? And how’s that?”

Eliot returned her smile with a playful one of his own. “It occurred to me that you were a very smart lady, and that you’d probably see right through our lie on account of me wantin’ to be in a relationship with the people I was already meant to be datin’. And then I nearly fell off the couch cause I’d been tryin’ so hard not to think about it, but I suppose my subconscious decided that I couldn’t pretend forever.” 

At this, Nana chuckled and nudged his arm. “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, honey,” she said knowingly.

Eliot shook his head, laughing at his own past obliviousness. “Tell me about it. Anyways, I finally came to the conclusion that I want to date ‘em, but I’m also not willin’ to lose their friendship over it. I want to be in their lives for a long time...and not just cause it means I get to keep comin’ to holiday dinners at your house,” he teased, giving Nana a gentle nudge of his own. She beamed at him, and reached up to pat him on the shoulder. 

“You’re a good man, Eliot. I like you.” She paused, glancing over at Hardison and Parker. “But what makes you so sure you’d lose them?”

Eliot shook his head a little. “Now you sound like Toby.” At Nana’s inquisitive look, he clarified, “My mentor and friend. He said almost the exact same thing. And y’all could be right, but I’m not willin’ to gamble on those odds, not when the two of ‘em mean so much to me.”

It was Nana’s turn to shake her head. “Ah, men. All so stubborn, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. You’ll get there eventually, though - my Alec is nothing if not persuasive.” Nana tapped on Eliot’s arm to get him to look at her as she spoke again. “All I ask, Eliot, is that you pay attention to any signs and signals they might be sending your way.”

He nodded solemnly. “Yes, ma’am.”

She patted his arm again and smiled. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some more of that wonderful galette to eat.” With that, she winked at Eliot and bustled off towards the kitchen.

Eliot was helpless but to smile back, nodding at her as she left. As he turned back to survey the living room once more, Hardison looked up and met his eye, his gaze open and questioning as he caught the tail end of Eliot’s smile. Eliot just shook his head a little and gestured for Hardison to carry on entertaining the kids he was playing with. He was content to continue watching over the scene before him as he pondered Nana’s words.

~

As the night meandered gently onwards, the whole of the Hardison clan began to congregate in the middle of the living room, gathering in a semicircle around the enormous Christmas tree that stood in front of the room’s large bay window. A lone chair was dragged in from the dining room to rest beside the tree and after some maneuvering, Nana made her way to the chair and sat. A well-loved acoustic guitar was passed to her, and she smiled as she took a moment to regard her audience, her family. 

Eliot, having been ushered into the room by a wildly grinning Parker, was about to ask Hardison what was going on when Nana began to sing. 

“Hark the herald angels sing…” she began, strumming the guitar softly and smiling around the words as the older children began to join in. Soon enough the entire family was singing along, a crescendo of voices lovingly intertwined. This must be a practiced family tradition, Eliot concluded, listening intently as each voice added its own layer to the mix in perfect harmony. He turned to Hardison to ask, and shivered a little when the other man leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Nana used to sing in her church choir when she was a kid,” Hardison explained. “She wanted us all to be able to experience that same kind of joy. Not all of us still go to church, but Nana made sure we all knew how to sing the songs. A bunch of my foster siblings play instruments too. I wanted it to be a surprise for you so you could really enjoy it.”

Eliot once again found himself in awe of the tiny woman before them, currently belting out a soulful rendition of ‘Go Tell It On The Mountain’. He turned to reply, but Hardison was already singing along (in a rather lovely baritone) and merely shot Eliot a wink. Parker, to her credit, was also attempting to sing along, but she didn’t seem to know half the words and instead was mostly just humming, ever so slightly out of tune. The whole thing made for a completely and utterly charming picture.

After a few more rousing songs, including ‘Frosty The Snowman’, ‘Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer’, and ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’ for the kids, Nana began to sing some softer melodies. When the last notes of ‘White Christmas’ rang out, she stood up and curtsied with a smile and a flourish, then left the guitar on the chair she’d just vacated. “Anyone’s welcome to come up and take a turn while I get myself a drink!” She announced cheerfully. As she weaved her way through her many relatives, she caught Eliot’s eye and raised an eyebrow at him, gesturing towards the chair in an unspoken question. He shook his head softly and she simply shrugged and smiled in return, disappearing into the kitchen. 

Later, Eliot would say that he’d had too much mulled wine (despite only having half a mug’s worth during dinner), but something about the silent exchange compelled him to break away from Hardison and Parker and head towards the chair. He tried to ignore the eyes on him and picked up the guitar, taking comfort in the familiarity of its weight in his hands. When he looked up, he was relieved to see that most of Hardison’s relatives were nonplussed - he supposed ‘guest appearances’ were just another part of the tradition. 

Hardison and Parker, however, looked completely stunned, and he spared them a quick smile before strumming his first tentative chord.

“I'll be home for Christmas  
You can plan on me.  
Please have snow and mistletoe  
And presents on the tree.

Christmas eve will find me  
Where the love light gleams.  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams.

I'll be home for Christmas;  
You can plan on me.  
Please have snow and mistletoe  
And presents on the tree.

Christmas eve will find me  
Where the love light gleams.  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams…”

Eliot trailed off softly, looking up to see Hardison and Parker’s eyes shining and the rest of the Hardison family looking rather impressed. He got up quickly and hurried back to where his friends were waiting, suddenly shy, but not before several of Hardison’s foster siblings could clap him on the back and compliment his performance. By the time he finally reached Hardison and Parker, Eliot was sure he was redder than a summer strawberry, but he also felt content down to his bones. He was about to say something - about the song’s personal meaning, about the nervousness of singing in front of practical strangers, something - but was cut off as he was enveloped into a tight (bordering on crushing) hug. Hardison was trembling a little as he clung to Eliot, burying his face in the shorter man’s shoulder in what seemed to be an effort not to cry. Eliot patted his back softly, soothingly. “Hey, hey, it’s alright, it’s just Christmas.”

Hardison let out a wet chuckle at that, and the pressure with which he was holding onto Eliot lessened slightly. “You know that’s not why I’m emotional, man,” he said, pulling back enough to be able to see Eliot’s face but not letting go completely. Eliot made no move to pull away, either, content to be held by the man he...cared greatly about. “It just occurred to me that that was probably how you felt when you were deployed, not knowing when or...if...you’d be back. I guess it just reminded me how lucky we are that you’re here.” Hardison sniffled a little, looking at Eliot as though he may up and disappear right then and there.

Parker, who had been quietly observing, leaned in and rested her cheek on Eliot’s shoulder. “I can’t imagine a world without an Eliot,” she said earnestly, looking up through her eyelashes at him with a slight frown. 

Ironically, it was the discipline he’d learned in the army that saved Eliot from an embarrassing breakdown - without it, he was pretty sure he’d be a puddle of tears on the floor after that. Sure, he’d had people thank him for his service throughout the years, but he couldn’t remember anyone telling him they were glad he was still there, still alive. Hell, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been truly...missed.

Wordlessly, Eliot freed an arm so he could pull Parker in, and sank into the unified embrace like it was salvation.

Eliot was starting to think that that was exactly what it was. 

What they were.

~

After Nana had returned to lead the family in one last carol - ‘The Twelve Days Of Christmas’ - the Hardisons began to disperse. Those with young kids left first, drowsy children tucked safely into their parents’ arms as they bid quiet farewells. Those with older kids lingered to say more drawn-out goodbyes, letting their children have a few more minutes of playtime with their older cousins. Teenagers halfheartedly ‘helped’ as their parents stayed and chatted a little longer, tucking in chairs and bringing silverware into the kitchen as they moved through the house towards the door. After a half hour or so, only a handful of adults remained. 

Despite it being a rather tiring day, Eliot wasn’t quite ready for the night to be over, and it seemed like Hardison and Parker felt the same. As the three of them helped put away leftovers, Hardison broke the silence with a slightly nervous, “Hey Eliot?” 

“Hmm?” Eliot replied absentmindedly.

“Would you maybe like to come over to our place for a bit? We could have a drink and hang out, if you want to that is.” 

Eliot ‘hmmed’ again, this time in the affirmative, and smiled. “That sounds like a real nice idea. I was kinda wonderin’ when I’d get to see y’all’s place.” 

Parker, who’d helped for about five minutes before deciding she’d rather sit on the counter and steadily decimate the remaining supply of homemade peppermint divinity, clapped her hands and gave a big thumbs-up. She looked absolutely ridiculous, her cheeks stuffed to the point where she looked like a cartoon chipmunk. Eliot shook his head and chuckled under his breath as he and Hardison finished putting away the last of the remaining dishes. Once they were done, they bid a warm farewell to Nana. As she hugged Eliot goodbye, she told him she’d “better see him around again soon” and gave him a significant look that he pretended not to see. He practically fled to the car where he’d be safe from, well...tiny sweet old ladies who wanted him to be happy, apparently. 

Hardison and Parker caught up with him quickly, looking pleased and ever-so-slightly smug that their ruse seemed to have worked. Eliot didn’t see the need to ruin the mood, so he kept Nana’s discovery of the truth to himself. Besides, he wasn’t all that keen on sharing the details of their little conversation - he was still committed to keeping his messy, sappy, unnecessary feelings to himself, thanks very much. 

The drive to Hardison and Parker’s place was largely uneventful - until they pulled up to the apartment complex itself. The building was just outside the city center, a beautiful old brick structure that boasted spacious lofts and luxury amenities. Forget dropped, Eliot’s jaw just about fell off when he saw it. He whistled lowly as they pulled into the parking garage, still rather agog. 

“Remind me where you work again…?” He asked Hardison faintly. 

Hardison shot him a quick grin in the rearview as he parked. “Pretty sweet digs huh? I work at a little startup called…” (Here he paused for dramatic effect) “...Google. You might’ve heard of it?” 

Eliot had, indeed, heard of it.

“Holy shit, man. Guess I don’t have to feel quite so guilty about those knives, huh?” Eliot murmured incredulously. 

Hardison just chuckled.

Once they’d gotten out of the car, Hardison started telling Eliot about his job. He’d practically gotten recruited out of nowhere while he was still in college - some of the higher-ups had somehow gotten wind of his hacking skills and decided they wanted him on their team. He’d agreed readily, both for the chance to do something he loved and for the...generous salary. There was pride in his voice when he told Eliot that the first thing he’d done after saving up some money was to pay off Nana’s mortgage. Being able to give back to her after all she’d done for him was one of the greatest accomplishments of his life. 

Eliot had already held Hardison in high regard, but hearing him talk about helping his foster mom only strengthened his respect and affection for the man.

~

The apartment, once they’d reached it, was even more impressive than Eliot had been expecting. It was incredibly spacious, each room flowing into the next seamlessly. The finishes were a combination of rustic and modern and the appliances (though Eliot doubted they were used much) were all state-of-the-art. The living room boasted a massive TV screen, and Eliot gaped at it for several seconds before turning to Hardison with a slightly accusatory expression and teasingly asking him why they’d never invited him over to watch football on this monstrosity (and insisting that they do just that the next time there was a game on). Hardison just teased back that they’d brought him to see the real thing instead. They bantered back and forth for a bit while Parker watched intently, eyes flicking between them like she was watching a particularly entertaining pingpong match. 

After Eliot had made them all poinsettia cocktails and been given the full tour (highlights of which included a second floor with a massive balcony and a Christmas tree inexplicably festooned with jewelry as well as ornaments), the three settled on the giant sectional in the living room. Eliot sprawled comfortably on the chaise and Hardison and Parker sat on the loveseat section next to him (perhaps a little closer than was necessary). They talked about everything and nothing, occasionally taking breaks to refill their glasses as the night drifted on. 

At one point Hardison asked if the three of them could take a commemorative selfie, to which Eliot grudgingly agreed - at least if it turned out badly he could blame it on the alcohol. He scooted over to sit next to Hardison, who produced a selfie stick from god-knows-where. He pulled Eliot in with his free hand, and Parker latched onto his other shoulder. The picture came out fine - cute, even - but between Hardison’s dark complexion, Parker’s pale skin, and Eliot’s own red-tinged tan, all his tired, frazzled, slightly inebriated brain could think was that the three of them looked like the human equivalent of goddamn Neapolitan ice cream. 

In ridiculous, over-the-top, hideous-but-also-kind-of-amazing, _matching_ Christmas sweaters.

...Eliot didn’t think he’d ever loved a picture more.

Shortly after taking the picture (which Eliot definitely didn’t ask Hardison to send him so he could frame it), Eliot found himself getting more and more tired. His eyelids threatened to flutter shut at any moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. The thought of having to go back to his empty house alone was unbearable after having spent most of the day with his two favorite people. 

He drifted unwittingly into sleep still smiling, his last conscious thought being of Hardison and Parker.

His family.

~

When Eliot awoke, the first thing he was aware of was the fact that he was not in his bed. Nor was he on his couch, or anywhere else in his house for that matter. He sat bolt upright, feeling rather alarmed before realizing that A) he wouldn’t have been able to sleep unless he knew he was safe, and B) he’d gone back to Hardison and Parker’s place after Christmas dinner. The traitorous part of his brain reveled in the fact that Hardison and Parker made him feel so safe, but Eliot firmly ignored it. What was harder to ignore was the blanket he was tangled up in, and the warmth that spread through him as he realized that one of his friends must have draped it over him after he’d fallen asleep.

A noise coming from around the corner caught his attention, shaking him from his thoughts. A moment later, Hardison poked his head out from behind the dividing wall to the kitchen and, upon seeing that Eliot was awake, shot him a sparkling grin. “Oh good, you’re up! Do you want coffee?” 

Eliot was already nodding before he was fully aware of it - coffee was the best idea right now. He wasn’t quite hungover (thank god for small mercies), but he was definitely a little groggy. It occurred to him that it should probably be too early for Hardison to be awake, and quickly checked his phone.

What.

Somehow, Eliot had...slept in. Normally he was lucky to get four hours of sleep, but if he was remembering right, he’d gotten sleepy around midnight and it was currently nine am. 

He’d slept for nine whole hours. In an unfamiliar environment. 

If he hadn’t been certain of the strength of his feelings before, this would have cemented it for certain. Eliot couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept more than six hours, let alone nine - in a new setting, no less.

Thankfully, Parker decided to interrupt his mini-freakout by wandering out of the kitchen and plopping down next to him, tucking her feet up under herself and laying her head on his shoulder. 

Time for a different kind of freakout, apparently. She was sleep-warm and utterly cozy, clad in flannel pajama bottoms printed with tiny candy canes and an oversized cable-knit sweater whose sleeves engulfed her hands where they crept up to loosely encircle his arm. Eliot tensed for a moment, but he wasn’t strong enough to protest and gingerly rested his cheek on top of her head, careful not to muss her already-messy bun. Parker took that as a cue to snuggle in further, wiggling around until she was satisfied. 

Eliot damn-near melted. 

He relaxed fully and sighed contentedly as he accepted his cozy fate. He was beyond protesting their affection at this point, so why not enjoy it? Besides, it was well within reason for friends to cuddle a little. Nothing inherently romantic about that, no sirree.

They sat there in comfortable silence for a while until Hardison appeared holding a tray of steaming beverages, letting out an audible “aww” when he saw them. 

Eliot tensed again for a split second, worried that his and Parker’s position could be misinterpreted as compromising, but as usual Hardison just seemed...endeared. He figured that if it was okay with Hardison, it really must be fine. 

This assumption was only solidified when Hardison set the drinks down on the table and immediately cozied up to Eliot’s other side.

These two were gonna be the death of him someday.

After coffee (and hot cocoa for Parker), Eliot figured it was only polite for him to make breakfast, seeing as he’d unexpectedly stayed the night and he knew for a fact that neither of his friends could cook for shit. 

(This, of course, was only reinforced when Eliot's cursory assessment of the kitchen revealed a fridge filled with Hardison's orange sludge and cabinets containing nothing but boxes upon boxes of cereal.) 

He didn’t actually get the chance though (which was probably just as well given the lack of ingredients) because Hardison and Parker had plans to have brunch with Parker’s godparents in an hour. 

Oh, right. Nate and Sophie. Crap.

Eliot awkwardly got up, trying not to jostle either of his particularly cuddly companions too much as he did so. He padded over to the kitchen and put his mug in the sink, then picked it up again and began washing it absentmindedly, giving himself something to do with his hands as he collected his thoughts. He wasn’t sure what to do now. Should he just call a rideshare service and go home? Maybe the Eliot of two months ago would have done that, but the Eliot of right now who was still wearing his hideous Christmas sweater after having slept on his best friends’ couch for nine whole hours...really didn’t want to. 

Hardison appeared as though summoned by Eliot’s indecision, coming to stand next to him with his back leaned up against the counter. “Hey, we’re gonna need to leave fairly soon. We’re happy to give you a ride home, especially since your place is on the way to Nate and Sophie’s.” 

He hesitated, then pressed forward. “Parker wasn’t planning on saying anything, but I think she’d really like it if you came with us. You don’t have to if you don’t want to - I know that’s not what you signed up for and it would just be the five of us, but it would mean a lot to her.” Hardison looked nervous but hopeful as he waited for Eliot’s answer.

Eliot was silent for a moment, then shook his head, chuckling softly. “Technically all I ever ‘signed up for’ was Thanksgiving dinner, but here we are. I’d like the chance to change into somethin’ a little smarter-lookin’ than this sweater, but if Parker still wants me along, I’ll go.”

He could swear that Hardison’s eyes actually sparkled as the other man’s face broke into a beaming grin. “Thank you, Eliot, really. It’ll mean the world to her, I know it.” 

Eliot smiled back, and followed Hardison back out towards the couch, which was now empty. “I do want to make sure with her first, though. Wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Impose on what?” Parker asked as she came down the stairs to rejoin them, now dressed for the day in a red-and-green plaid dress and black tights. 

“You can talk to Eliot about it while I get dressed,” Hardison said quickly, pecking her on the cheek before taking the stairs two at a time. Leggy bastard.

Parker shrugged, then sat on the couch in front of Eliot. She cocked her head and looked at him expectantly, waiting.

Eliot shoved his hands in his pockets and scuffed at the floor, barely making eye contact. He felt suddenly nervous. “I was wonderin’...if you still wanted me to come to meet your godparents?” He asked tentatively.

Parker’s eyes widened and she looked utterly shocked at first. Then, as she processed what Eliot had said, that shock quickly morphed into utter, unrestrained joy. She didn’t say anything so much as squeal excitedly as she jumped up and flung her arms around Eliot’s neck. Without really thinking, Eliot picked her up and spun her around, caught up in her infectious delight. When he put her down they were both a little breathless, and they grinned wildly at each other. “I guess that’s a yes then?” Eliot teased, chuckling as Parker nodded her head enthusiastically. “I didn’t want to ask cause I didn’t want you to feel like you had to but I’m so glad I’m gonna get the chance to introduce you to them, so...thank you, Eliot.” She looked up at him like he’d hung the moon, and grabbed onto his hand the same way he’d seen her do with Hardison.

Eliot could feel the flush creeping up his neck as she swung their hands gently between them. “Don’t mention it. Y’all have given me so much and I know how much it means to you.”

A few seconds later, Hardison came careening down the stairs, freshly changed into a red button-up and dark jeans. He was in the process of knotting a bowtie that matched Parker’s dress, which he let Parker fix for him as she excitedly informed him that Eliot would be coming with them to Nate and Sophie’s. 

He winked at Eliot over Parker’s head, which the other man returned with a slight nod and a faint smile. 

~

They decided to let Parker drive for expediency’s sake, and it was just as harrowing an experience as Eliot remembered. She was a talented driver, able to maneuver around other cars with ease, but she was a little too cavalier about prevailing traffic laws for Eliot’s liking. 

But, to her credit, they did make it to Eliot’s house in record time. He had just enough time to change (into a maybe-intentionally-coordinating green button-down) and grab a jar of homemade cranberry preserves, which he hastily stuck a bow on and threw in a spare Christmas bag. 

(He liked to keep a stash of various jams and jellies in reserve in the rare case that he needed an emergency gift for an unsuspecting guest or, in this case, friend’s godparents.)

Given the fact that Parker had mentioned Nate and Sophie’s various world travels a handful of times, Eliot wasn’t all that surprised when they pulled up in front of a rather lovely three-story Victorian-style home in the suburbs just outside of Portland proper. 

Having spent the whole ride mildly concerned for his life, it hadn’t really occurred to Eliot until now to be nervous. But, as they sat in front of Parker’s godparents’ beautiful, fancy house, Eliot started to sweat a little. 

As though she could sense his anxiety, Parker caught his eye in the rearview mirror. “It’s gonna be fine, El. Sophie is honestly one of the nicest and most encouraging people you’ll ever meet, and Nate is...well, he can be a little closed off, but he has a really good heart and as long as Sophie likes you you’ll be in his good books too. And, unlike with Hardison’s Nana, I already came out to them as bi years ago so we just have to explain the poly thing. It should be a piece of cake!” Parker chirped. 

Eliot nodded and took a moment to absorb the information, forcing himself not to get distracted by the fact that Parker was apparently bi too (that was certainly news to him!) and focus on the task at hand.

Hardison took Eliot’s silence as an invitation to chime in himself. “I was kind of intimidated when I first met Nate but he’s a cool guy once you get to know him. And Parker wasn’t lyin’ about Sophie - that woman is honestly an angel. You’re gonna do just fine, I promise.”

Eliot dragged a hand across his face and took a bracing breath. “I’ll worry about that once we get in, but we should probably have a plan as to how we’re gonna convince ‘em that I’m datin’ y’all.”

Parker and Hardison looked at each other and shrugged. “Same plan as before, I guess,” Hardison said. “Worked fine with Nana, so I say we just talk about our hangouts as dates and amp up the affection a bit.”

Eliot had to bite his tongue to keep from contradicting him. “Fine, but not too much PDA, y’hear?” He grumbled halfheartedly. 

Parker just giggled, trilling a far-too-nonchalant “No promises!” in a singsong voice.

Finally, armed with a plan, the trio made their way up to Nate and Sophie’s front door.

~

As soon as they stepped through the door, Eliot’s senses were immediately flooded with the delightful aroma of ginger and cardamom and anise - chai tea, if he had to guess. Parker had briefly mentioned that Sophie was British, so it made sense. 

He took a moment to examine his surroundings, noting the high ceilings, richly-stained wooden furniture, and various pieces of art hung throughout the hallway leading further into the house (which also made sense, given that Sophie was a museum curator). 

“Nate! Sophie! We’re here!” Parker called as she shrugged off her jacket and gestured for Eliot and Hardison to do the same. 

A moment later, a handsome, elegant-looking woman with dark brown hair and kind eyes bustled into the foyer.

“Darlings!” She exclaimed happily as she saw Parker and Hardison. She greeted them with warm hugs and air kisses, then turned her attention to Eliot. “And who’s this fine young man you’ve brought along with you, Parker dear?” She asked, looking Eliot up and down with curiosity. 

“Oh, that’s Eliot. He’s, well...I think it would be better if Nate were here too.” Parker frowned slightly. “Speaking of Nate, where -”

“Parker! Hardison! Good to see you both!” 

An older man with a mop of unruly brown hair and piercing grey eyes appeared from the same room as Sophie had, coming over to stand next to Sophie after giving Parker a brief hug and clapping Hardison on the back fondly. 

“Who’s the new guy?” He asked, mouth quirked into a hint of a smile to show that he was teasing. 

Parker took a deep breath, looked at Hardison, and nodded. They moved to stand on either side of Eliot, each taking one of his hands. 

“This is Eliot. He’s, well...our boyfriend.” Parker gulped nervously. “Me and Hardison are, um, polyamorous?” 

A beat, then - “Oh, that’s wonderful Parker! How long have the two of you been seeing him?” Sophie asked, seeming genuinely enthused by the news. Nate remained impassive save for a slight raise of his eyebrows, but otherwise he didn’t seem to be particularly perturbed by the information. 

Parker visibly relaxed then, having cleared the first and biggest hurdle. “For almost a month now! We met a couple weeks before Thanksgiving and asked him out just after.” 

Eliot nodded, and reached out to shake both Nate and Sophie’s hands. “Eliot Spencer. Pleasure meetin’ you both.”

Sophie smiled beatifically at him. “Likewise! I’m very interested to hear about how you came to be dating our Parker and Hardison.”

Eliot smiled and nodded. “Oh, this is for you, by the way,” he said, handing over the small bag he was still holding onto. “Homemade cranberry preserves.”

Sophie looked pleased as punch. “How lovely, thank you!” 

Even Nate looked pleased. “Homemade, you said? Sounds good.” 

Having realized they were still just standing around in front of the door, Sophie ushered them into the living room, asking questions about polyamory and how it applied to their relationship as they settled into their seats. Hardison and Parker did most of the talking and Eliot had almost zoned out when Sophie finally addressed him directly. “So, Eliot, what do you do for a living? What’s your passion?”

Eliot blinked, the question catching him off guard. “I work as a chef at a culinary institute, ma’am. I also do some bartendin’ on the side, though I haven’t taken as many shifts since I met these two. It was mostly to keep myself busy, anyhow.” 

Sophie’s eyes lit up. “That sounds wonderful! So you cook and you teach, then, at this institute?” 

Eliot nodded, his eyes crinkling a little as he started talking a little more about his job and the satisfaction it brought him. Sophie was a delightful conversationalist; she paid rapt attention to anything she was being told and asked thoughtful, interesting questions. Combined with her charming smile and even more charming accent, it wasn’t long at all before Eliot found himself completely at ease in her presence. 

Nate, meanwhile, had spent most of the conversation observing, listening closely to each of them in turn as Parker, Hardison, and Eliot shared various anecdotes. Eliot could practically see the gears turning behind that calculating gaze, and it occurred to him that they might not be able to pull one over on Nate no matter how convincing their act was. 

After a few minutes of idle small talk, Sophie excused herself, beckoning Parker to follow. Hardison was telling Nate about some technological advancement in something or other, but Eliot was focused on Sophie and Parker. He could see them in his periphery, standing in the kitchen with their heads bowed together. They seemed to be whispering animatedly, and he caught them shooting him furtive glances when they thought he wasn’t looking.

It seemed like Nate might not be the only one they couldn’t fool.

Soon thereafter, Sophie appeared carrying a tray of - as Eliot had suspected - chai tea, served in festive china cups decorated with little sprigs of holly. Parker trailed after her, holding a bowl of similarly festive peppermint-sprinkled, white chocolate-coated pretzels that she had already started munching happily on. 

Eliot took a cup with a murmured, “thank you, ma’am,” and found his worries slipping away with each warm, comforting sip of tea. Parker didn’t seem to be in any kind of distress, so he figured that whatever her and Sophie had been whispering about couldn’t’ve been too bad. In fact, she seemed even happier than usual, her eyes bright and the smile never leaving her face. 

When Parker was happy, all was right with the world. 

...Yeah, Eliot was gonna pretend he hadn’t just thought that.

~

Brunch, when it was served, was an unexpectedly spectacular affair. Eliot had been expecting some pastries and sandwiches, not a literal feast. There were croissants of all kinds, linzer cookies, three different types of tea sandwiches, a frittata, two quiches, orange cranberry muffins, pumpkin scones, and more donuts than Eliot had ever seen outside of a donut shop.

The piece de resistance, however - at least in Eliot’s opinion - were freshly-made popovers, served piping hot right out of the oven. Sophie smiled delightedly at Eliot’s compliments; they’d had most of the food catered but the popovers (or, rather, ‘Yorkshire puddings’) were Sophie’s specialty, the recipe given to her by her grandmother. 

“Nothin’ better than a family recipe, if you ask me,” Eliot said between enthusiastic bites of butter-and-jam-smothered popover. 

“Couldn’t agree more,” Sophie nodded, taking a dainty bite of her chocolate croissant. 

The rest of the meal was spent in comfortable silence, occasionally interspersed with comments about the food. Eliot was particularly pleased when Sophie suggested they crack open the cranberry preserves he’d brought and found them to be delicious. Nate even shared a story from his childhood about how he’d always hated cranberry sauce because his family had always bought the canned stuff. It hadn’t been until he was an adult that he’d gotten to try the homemade version - which really was infinitely better. 

“We lived in Boston, for god’s sake,” Nate lamented, shaking his head. “Massachusetts is known for their cranberry bogs - we even went to one once - but no, we still had that nasty canned crap every damn year.” 

Eliot chuckled. “It’s funny you say that, cause there’s actually this little town a few hours south called Bandon that’s known as the cranberry capital of Oregon. They have a cranberry festival every year with all kinds of funfair activities ‘n’ such. Never been myself, but it sounds like a good time from what I’ve heard.” 

Parker perked up at the word ‘festival’ and tapped Eliot excitedly on the arm. “We should go next year!” She chirped.

Eliot smiled. “As long as Hardison’s down, I’m in.” 

“You bet I am. But speaking of cranberries, I’d love to try Eliot’s jam thing too if y’all wouldn’t mind passing it along,” Hardison teased. 

“...Not jam, Hardison.”

~

After another hour or so of easy chitchat, the quintet moved back into the living room to enjoy some rum-spiked eggnog. Nate and Sophie began to talk about their travels, and Eliot simply sat back and let the words flow over him. The only times he’d really left the country had been when he’d been deployed, and there weren’t really any ‘fun travel adventures’ to share from his time spent overseas. 

He did, however, chime in when Sophie mentioned all the different foods she and Nate had gotten to sample in the places they’d visited, and the two of them ended up talking about the ins and outs of French cuisine for a solid half hour.

The conversation shifted smoothly from one topic to the next and before Eliot knew it, another hour had passed. Then two, then four, until it was finally time to depart, the sky just beginning to darken as they bid their farewells and headed back home. 

“That was nice,” Eliot mused quietly as they got into the car. “I’m glad I came with y’all.”

Parker, back in her usual seat on the passenger’s side, hummed in agreement. “They liked you, I could tell. Even Nate,” she murmured.

Eliot smirked. “From what I can tell, that’s a pretty big compliment. What about Sophie?”

Parker just giggled softly. “Sophie likes just about everybody. She’s a people person. But yeah, I think she approved.”

Eliot raised an eyebrow. “They bought it then?” He asked, rather surprised.

“As far as I know, yeah,” Parker replied, though she didn’t sound completely convinced. 

“That’s good, I suppose…” Eliot trailed off. 

Something suddenly occurred to him. “Parker,” he said slowly. “Didn’t I remember you mentioning a foster dad? Archie, right?”

Eliot’s heart sank as Parker seemed to curl in on herself, mumbling, “He’s in Spain with his family.” Hardison reached over and rubbed her back and shot Eliot an unimpressed look in the rearview that he took to mean ‘don’t mention Archie around Christmas’. Eliot mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ back, cringing at his accidental misstep.

“Anyways, how long do you think Nate and Sophie are staying for this time?” Hardison asked quickly.

Thankfully, Parker perked back up at that, seeming to have forgotten Eliot's question already. “I think at least until New Year’s! I’d have to double check though, you know how they are.”

Hardison chuckled. “They can be pretty flighty. Hopefully we'll be able to stop by at least one more time before they leave to go jetting off to god-knows-where.”

"I think they mentioned something about Peru..."

Eliot dozed fitfully as his friends continued their conversation, their voices fading as he drifted between consciousness and sleep.

He was awoken by a loud, excited gasp a short while later.

“Hardison, look, it’s snowing!” Parker exclaimed. She seemed to notice that she’d woken Eliot up and shot him a guilty smile. “We’re almost at your house, by the way. Sorry for waking you.”

Eliot just waved her off and rubbed his face. It wasn’t all that late in the evening, but Eliot could do with a good night’s sleep after the two consecutive wonderful-yet-emotionally-draining days he’d just had. 

They pulled into Eliot’s driveway five minutes later, and as usual walked him back to his door. He hugged them after he’d unlocked the door, Hardison first and Parker second. As they made to leave, he surprised himself by stopping them before they could get more than a few feet away.

“Wait! Uh...I was just wonderin’...what y’all were, uh, doin’ tomorrow?” Eliot stuttered out, unexpectedly nervous.

Hardison gave Parker a look, smiled, and said, “Hanging out with you, of course.” 

Eliot beamed, not even caring that he was probably blushing a little. “Well alright then. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Parker…” He paused, his smile turning mischievous. “...Alec.”

Hardison’s eyes widened and he looked adorably flustered. “Y-yup, see ya, bye Eliot!” He practically shouted, dragging Parker with him. “Bye Eliot, see you tomorrow!” She called over her shoulder, sounding amused.

Eliot just shook his head as he went inside, endeared by their antics as always. 

It felt almost strange, being back in his house after having spent most of the past two days with Hardison and Parker. Eliot couldn’t help but recall his promise to Nana as he got ready for bed. His instinct was to ignore anything that could be construed as romantic overtures, but there had been more than a few moments over the past couple of days that made him wonder if maybe his feelings weren’t so one-sided after all. 

He sat on his bed and took a moment to really reflect. To name a few, there had been the heartfelt Christmas cards, the emotional reactions to the song he’d sung, the damn morning-after-that-wasn’t cuddle session...

Eliot had a _lot_ to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I actually have an ornament just like the one Parker gets for Eliot!  
> -The knives Hardison gets Eliot are based on one from the Vertoku brand, because they’re pretty and the blue matches Eliot’s eyes ;)  
> -For anyone wondering, a poinsettia cocktail is made with cranberry juice, champagne, and orange liqueur!  
> -I considered having Archie make an appearance with Nate and Sophie, but he didn't really fit in anywhere (plus this chapter is already way longer than I anticipated) so I've decided to save him for a future chapter.
> 
> All mistakes are my own, and comments are very much appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! <3


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